Fun_People Archive
8 Apr
Uncle Plunky's Military Rules To Live By

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  8 Apr 97 12:30:28 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Uncle Plunky's Military Rules To Live By


	Murphy's Military Laws

 1.Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
 2.No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
 3.Friendly fire ain't.
 4.The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
 5.The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already
   mined it.
 6.The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy
   somebody else to shoot at.
 7.The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your
   artillery will shoot short.
 8.Incoming fire has the right of way.
 9.If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
10.The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
11.If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
12.The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned
13.The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming
   friendly fire.
14.There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you,
   and miss.
15.Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the
   combat zone, it draws sergeants.
16.If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

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