Top5 - 4/14/97 - Side-Effects of the Giant Solar Flare
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 14 Apr 97 15:39:29 -0700
Subject: Top5 - 4/14/97 - Side-Effects of the Giant Solar Flare
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April 14, 1997
The Top 15 Side-Effects of the Giant Solar Flare
15> George Lucas suddenly decides to add a character named "Skippy,
the Dancing Jedi" to the next Star Wars film.
14> You're in for a nasty burn without your SPF7000 sunblock.
13> Threats to "stick it where the sun don't shine" rendered
12> For the first time ever, George Hamilton hesitates before
11> For one very brief moment, startled users connect to America
10> Do, momentarily stunned by the bright light, steers the ship
right into Hale-Bopp.
9> Sales of Preparation H soar due to "sympathy flares."
8> OJ stops golfing for a minute, looks around and says,
"I don't see any killers here," and resumes play.
7> Terrified Eskimos send frantic plea for help to Godzilla.
(Oops! That'd be a side-effect of a Giant *Polar Bear.*)
6> Additional melted snow in Minnesota makes it the "Land of 1
Really Big Lake."
5> Helicopters begin dumping water on Don King's hair.
4> Disruption of hair dryers everywhere leads to TV news anchor
3> Malfunction in Al Gore's circuitry causes people to confuse
him with Jim Carrey.
2> Baywatch babes no longer baked, but now fried to a crackly
and the Number 1 Side-Effect of the Giant Solar Flare...
1> "Porpoise Melt" suddenly becomes Sea World's featured sandwich
of the day.
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© 1997 Peter Langston