Fun_People Archive
16 Apr
Lord, Lord, thou knowest how it is.

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 16 Apr 97 13:48:18 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Lord, Lord, thou knowest how it is.

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <>

    And the Lord said unto Noah: "Where is the Ark which I have commanded
thee to build?"
    And Noah said unto the Lord: "Verily, I have had three carpenters off
ill. The gopher wood supplier hath let me down.  Yea, even though the gopher
wood hath been on order nigh upon twelve months.  What can I do, O Lord?"
    And God said unto Noah: "I want that Ark finished even after seven days
and seven nights."
    And Noah said: "It will be so."  And it was not so.
    And the Lord said unto Noah: "What seemeth to be the trouble this time?"
    And Noah said unto the Lord: "Mine subcontractor hath gone, alas,
bankrupt.  The pitch which thou commandedst me to put on the outside and
the inside of the Ark hath not arrived.  The canvas, although on hand, is
not the right color.  The pipefitter hath gone on strike.  Shem, my son,
who helpeth me on the Ark side of the business, hath formed a rock group
with his brothers Ham and Japheth.  Lord, I am undone."
    And the Lord grew angry and said: "And what about the animals, the male
and the female of every sort that I ordered to come unto thee to keep their
seed alive upon the face of the Earth?"
    And Noah said: "They have been delivered unto the wrong address but
should arriveth on Friday."
    And the Lord said: "How about the unicorn and the fowls of the air by
    And Noah wrung his hands and wept saying: "Lord, unicorns are a
discontinued line, thou canst not get them for love nor money.  And fowls
of the air are sold only in half-dozens.  The peacocks even then, are on
back order for weeks to come.  Lord, Lord, thou knowest how it is."

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