Fun_People Archive
8 May
How to Get Out of Debt - (practical advice)

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu,  8 May 97 13:10:51 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: How to Get Out of Debt - (practical advice)

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <>
Forwarded-by: "Keith E. Sullivan" <>

-- by Rich Hall, Self-Help for the Bleak, Copyright (c) 1994

Debt is imprisonment.  It's that simple.  As a prison controls its inmates
by restricting their freedom of movement, our creditors control us.  Of
course, we try to fight them.  Feeble gesture!

The only way to escape debt is to surrender and give yourself up!  Say to
your creditors, "You got me.  I'm your prisoner."

Now, as a prisoner, you get to ask permission for every move you make.  Feel
free to call up the banks and credit card companies two or three hundred
times a day.  Pretend you're one of those Georgia Work Farm inmates and use
a lyrical "prison" cadence:

"Permission to get a haircut today, Big Bank Boss?"

"Can I get a second helping of dessert, Master Card?"

"Been draggin' the line double-time, Credit Man.  Can I have a drink of

Pretty soon they'll stop taking your calls.  Show up in person.  Stand in
the middle of the bank lobby, unbuttoning your shirt and shouting, "Takin'
it off today, boss!"

Soon enough they'll lock the doors when they see you coming.  NOW who's the
prisoner?  You win.

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