Fun_People Archive
24 May
The Comedian's Eye View of 05/26/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat, 24 May 97 00:07:51 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 05/26/97

Excerpted-from: 05/26/97 -- ShopTalk

                         Monday May 26, 1997

	"Michael Jackson's business partner has bought part of TWA, and
	now says he's going to have Michael redesign some of the planes.
	Michael says he wants the planes to be all white with smaller
	noses."
                                  Conan O'Brien

                               &&&&&&&&&&

News From All Over: "Dick Gephardt came out against the balanced budget deal
because he says it only helps the rich," says Argus Hamilton.
"Paleontologists are thrilled.  The very week 'The Lost World: Jurassic
Park' is coming out, someone has unearthed a Democrat."

The prosecution has rested in the Timothy McVeigh trial, says the Cutler
Daily Scoop.  "Did they prove their case?  We don't know, but they did prove
that a big trial doesn't have to turn into a media circus."

The judge barred the defense from widespread attack on the FBI lab.
"Somewhere Lance Ito is saying 'Gee, a judge can do that?'" (Daily Scoop)

As the World Turns: Susan Lucci was snubbed for the 17th time at the Daytime
Emmy Awards.  "Mr. Rogers' sweater has won more Emmys than Susan Lucci."
(Alex Kaseberg)

"Showing she's not a poor sport, Lucci said, 'It's nice to be nominated,
nominated, nominated, nominated..." (Paul Ecker)

"She may have lost, but she'd been made team mascot of the Chicago Cubs."
(Daily Scoop)

"The good news: In her honor, 'All My Children' is being renamed 'All My
Children and the Also-Ran.'" (Bob Mills)

Frank Gifford videotaped.  Marv Albert indicted.  "What is happening in
sports?" says Jay Leno.  "You ever think you'd see the day when the best
behaved man in all of sports would be George Steinbrenner?"

"And poor Kathie Lee. You can tell she's trying to avoid this whole subject.
Like today she asked reporters if they had any questions about her
sweatshops." (Leno)

"Pretty soon hotels will have to offer sports-caster-free rooms." (Daily
Scoop)

Also on the Screen: "This summer there's gonna be yet another 'Free Willy'
movie, 'Free Willy 3.'  This whale has been captured and released more times
than Martin Lawrence." (Leno)
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