The Hippie and the Lama
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 28 May 97 12:30:45 -0700
Subject: The Hippie and the Lama
[A slight rewrite of an old standard... -psl]
Forwarded-by: "Arnie Hobbs" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Forwarded-by: Tower, Susan
A twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey with six
people on board (the pilot, Bill Clinton, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the
Dali Lama, and a hippie), when suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded
in the luggage compartment and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke.
The cockpit door opened and the pilot burst into the compartment.
"Gentlemen," he said, "I have bad news, and good news, and bad news. The
bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that
we can easily parachute to safety. The bad news is that there are only five
parachutes." With that, the pilot threw open the door, grabbed a parachute,
and jumped from the plane.
Bill Clinton was right behind him. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the leader
of the world's greatest nation. The world needs great leaders of great
nations. I think the world's greatest leader should have a parachute!"
So saying, he grabbed a parachute and followed the pilot out the door.
Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the
world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the
world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With those words, he
grabbed a parachute and hurtled through the door into the night.
Bill Gates scrambled to his feet and said, "Uh, gentlemen, I am the world's
smartest man, and, well, the world needs smart men. So, uh, the world's
smartest man should have a parachute." Grabbing a parachute, he stumbled
out the door.
The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another calmly for a moment.
Finally, the hippie picked up a parachute and held it out to the Dali Lama
who said, "My son, I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss
of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take the
parachute, and I will go down with the plane." The hippie said, "Hey, no
sweat, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."
© 1997 Peter Langston