The Comedian's Eye View of 6-5-97
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 5 Jun 97 04:55:59 -0700
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 6-5-97
Thursday June 5, 1997
"What seemed like a wonderful idea could explode in your face. Use your
personality, wit, and charm to cool down a problem. If possible, work
on diplomacy and peace."
- Tim McVeigh's Horoscope for Monday, June 2, the day he was found
guilty in the Murrah bombing case. As published in the Denver Post.
Fox is going to expand its TV ratings to include the letters "S," "V" and
"L" to indicate sexual, violent or strong language content. Steve Tatham
wonders, "How about the warning label 'C' that indicates which shows simply
A landscaper says Martha Stewart drove her car into him while he was
building a fence for a neighbor. "Stewart and the neighbor have feuded for
years about shrubbery and other household issues- such as the neighbor's
insistence on hanging toilet paper in the annoying 'under the roll'
position." (Cutler Daily Scoop)
Paul Jones vs. Bill Clinton:
Clinton's attorney said no way will the president issue an apology; however,
the president is willing to kiss and make up." (Daily Scoop)
"The whole affair is making more people come forward. Today, a woman
claimed Al Gore once took her to a motel room where he proceeded to loosen
his tie." (Jay Leno)
Some 400 experts have gathered in Boston for a conference on health issues
faced by transvestites and transsexuals. The conference will focus on ways
to get more members of the transgender community to seek health care.
Advocates say that many transgender people lack adequate health care because
they fear rejection and ridicule. As Mark Wheeler puts it, "Maybe they just
don't have the time to visit the doctor, what with all the daily appearances
on Sally, Jerry and Ricki."
Aging Rockers Department: Bob Dylan was released after being treated for a
potentially fatal lung infection. "It took awhile for the doctors to
realize he was ill. Her was wheezing horribly and sounded like he was in
incredible pain." (Daily Scoop)
© 1997 Peter Langston