The Comedian's Eye View of 6-6-97
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 6 Jun 97 00:40:28 -0700
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 6-6-97
Excerpted-from: 6-6-97- ShopTalk
Friday June 6, 1997
"You won't find me using escape goats."
-Utah's Karl Malone on
the Jazz's loss in Game #1.
"That is too bad because I certainly would like to see one of those
up close, never mind them in plural."
-Bernie Lincicome of the Chicago Tribune
Our Beleaguered President: A military representative announced that Air
Force One was forced to change course during the president's flight to
Europe last week. An anti-collision system warned of another aircraft in
the vicinity. Although, says Alex Pearlstein, when has President Clinton
ever needed an excuse to change course?
"It seems the socialists have won control of the French National Assembly.
It's amazing when you look at what's happening in the world. A moderate
has won as president of Iran. A liberal is now the prime minister of
England. Do you realize the only real conservative we have left in the
world is Bill Clinton? (Jay Leno)
Kmart announced that it will not display and sell current copies of the
Globe because the tabloid has "crossed the line" in its reporting. Jerry
Perisho wonders: "Isn't it strange that a store selling bright green
polyester stretch pants in the full-figured women's section thinks that the
Globe exhibits bad taste?"
Entertainment Division: "Friends" star Matthew Perry has checked into a drug
rehab center. "Here we go," says Alex Kaseberg. "Next he will want to
direct, then he will quit to do movies, then he will return to his first
love, the stage, and finally a brief mention in the People magazine 'Where
are they now?' issue."
Jeff Goldblum told an interviewer that he does not do blockbuster movies
for the money. He does them to make people forget about "Tenspeed and
Brownshoe." (Gary Easley)
© 1997 Peter Langston