Fun_People Archive
12 Jun
The Comedian's Eye View of 6-12-97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 12 Jun 97 02:05:00 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 6-12-97

Excerpted-from: 6-12-97- ShopTalk

                         Thursday June 12, 1997

             "Anyone who has to duck entering that
              door, we're interested in."

               -LA Clippers coach Bill Fitch,
                desperately in need of a center


It's The Economy, Stupid: Economists are predicting a rosy long-term future
for the U.S.  They're so optimistic, in fact, they predict panhandlers will
soon be asking, "Brother, can you spare a T-bill?" (Paul Ecker)

Sex and Scandal (Part 467): "The military does seem to be taking it in
stride.  In fact, today the Pentagon released their new camouflaged
uniforms. They're blue and red so you can blend in with a Motel 6 sign and
not get caught." (Jay Leno)

Lawyers for Paula Jones say that if necessary they are prepared to bring up
President Clinton's sexual history.  "I hope she's not paying them by the
hour." (Steve Voldseth)

Meantime, Mother Teresa was in Washington to get the Congressional gold
medal.  She should stay in town.  With her background, she is the only
person currently qualified to head the Joint Chiefs. (Argus Hamilton)

And, Joe Kennedy apologized for his brother's affair with an underage baby
sitter.  What would his dad, Bobby, have said, wonders Hamilton.  "In the
eloquent Kennedy tradition, he would've said that some men see a 14-year-old
girl sitting on the couch and say, 'Why?'  Others see the same thing and
say, 'Why not?'"

The FBI said it's certain the Olympic bombing in Atlanta is linked to two
other local bombings. Unless, of course, if it turns out it isn't linked."
(Alex Kaseberg)

Hoops, Not Dreams: Dennis Rodman took off for Las Vegas after his Bulls lost
to the Jazz. The Bulls are worried.  If he gets that job with Siegfried and
Roy, he may not be back for Game 5." (Hamilton)

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