Fun_People Archive
16 Jun
A Special Invitation

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 16 Jun 97 01:42:08 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: A Special Invitation

Forwarded-by: Six Degrees of Lettuce <>
Forwarded-by: Roger D Chadel <>

                      521 MAIN STREET
                   WILMINGTON, IOWA 67453

                   PASTOR P. J. LANCASTER

Dear Fun_People Subscriber,

Perhaps you have heard of me and my nationwide campaign in the cause
of temperance. Each year, for the past fourteen years, I have made a
tour of Colorado, Kansas, Arizona and Idaho delivering a series of
lectures on the evils of drinking. On this tour, I have been
accompanied by my young friend and assistant, Clyde Limpton. Clyde is
an example of a life ruined by an excessive indulgence in whiskey and
women. Clyde would appear with me at the lectures and sit on the
platform drunk, wheezing, staring at the audience through heavy
bloodshot eyes, sweating profusely, picking his nose, passing gas,
and making obscene gestures while I pointed him out as an example of
what over indulgence can do for a person.

This summer, unfortunately, Clyde passed away. A mutual friend has
given me your name, and I wonder if you would be available to take
Clyde's place on this year's tour.

Yours in Faith,

Rev. P. J. Lancaster, pastor
Church of the Open Door Mission

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