Fun_People Archive
17 Jun
Zombies and Camera-fodder at Sally Jessy Raphael

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 17 Jun 97 20:29:00 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Zombies and Camera-fodder at Sally Jessy Raphael

[Apparently Xaviera and a few prostitutes let themselves be "interviewed" on  
the Sally Jesse Raphael show...  Dum-da-dum-dum...  These shows are hardly  
the place to voice any but the most conservative, repressed, chauvinist  
thoughts, especially where sex is involved.  Sounds like trouble to me...   

From: Xaviera Hollander <>
or:  zombies and camerafodders at Sally Jessy Raphael


Just saw her web page which trumpets:

 "Our show is a modern day morality play which often serves as a wake-up
 call for guests who are on the wrong track." -Sally Jessy Raphael

 In a time when talk has been dogged by controversy amidst an ever growing
 frenzy of competition, the Sally Jessy Raphael show has remained the
 second-highest rated topical talk show, without sacrificing the integrity
 that remains its heart and soul.

 "Many times the people who come on our show have been isolated in their
 own realities," Sally continues.  "They may be having difficulties with
 their loved ones, but can't solve them, because both parties feel they are
 right.  They often come on our show to justify their actions, or confront
 loved ones in front of an impartial jury, so to speak.  Hearing the
 opinions of our audience members, often bluntly stated, helps them to see
 things they might have been unable -- or unwilling -- to face.  In our
 follow-up discussions, I've heard over and over again that such a moment
 of recognition can change lives.

 "I'm the moderator in this mix -- the intermediary whose job it is to
 communicate what is happening on-stage.  I'm going to allow both sides to
 hear what's going on, to listen and ask important questions that elicit
 greater understanding.  Often with two emotionally involved people, be it
 family, lovers or neighbors, arguments become too confrontational.  Now
 there's someone nonjudgmental yet caring to help sort things through, to
 listen and not to lecture."

 What makes Sally so empathetic? As the only talk show host who is a mother
 of grown children, Sally has a life experience that allows her to identify,
 on some level, with many of the universal problems she encounters."

Please stop me before I gag further.  Perhaps all this explains why she
treated us so shabbily on her show and threw us to the wolves (those
knuckle-dragging, cousin-fucking, unemployed clods who make up her studio
audience.  When the audience shouted out nearly every reply made by the
opposition and all but rushed the stage to lynch us, she was off happily
chatting with her crew...


That is when I tried to stop Norma Jean and Catherine from arguing with the
audience, as I realized we were off camera anyway, and I think especially
Norma Jean should really not exert her voice, due to her throat problems.
I was lucky as I was the first one to be interviewed and actually got some
genuine laughter from the most disgusting public I have ever encountered on
any TV show in the world.  I have seen English yobbos misbehave on vacation
on the Costa del Sol, I have seen soccer supporters at their worst, but this
pathetic lot of camera-fodder must have been picked up from the worst street
corner in NYC imaginable.  Not only were they dressed appallingly but their
IQ was as close to absolute zero as possible in a conscious creature.

My young slave girl, Franny, was in the audience and she informed me
afterwards that the audience was thoroughly brainwashed beforehand, They
were taken on a walk through the studio and during the show, unknown to us,
signs were put up behind our backs bearing such statements as "That woman
has two kids and only one of them knows she is a hooker.  Isn't that an
awful thing?" Immediately the public shouted BOOOO, led by a few staff
members from the TV show, planted in the audience.  The mob reacted like
stampeding cattle, goaded by these staff members against people like
Catherine and Norma Jean, but I kept quiet and thus remained out of their
line of fire.  I had already informed them that I was no longer involved in
the prostitution business, but had been writing books, was a monthly
columnist for Penthouse magazine for the last 30 years and am in the middle
of developing and licensing a line of perfume under my name.  I actually
managed to make these zombies or nerds laugh a few times!
[Hey!  Watch the comments about nerds...  I know some people who resemble
that remark!  -psl]

The only thing, my lawyer told me, I should not have said was, that when
asked whether I used safe sex as a Happy Hooker, I replied that I did not
need to do that in those days as there was no AIDS yet, but that however I
did pick up ONCE, and once only, a case of crabs, just as you might get
bitten by a mosquito or a flea some time.


This hypocritical, supremely shallow cunt is least Oprah was


Mind you, Catherine, Sally was behaving IMPECCABLY to us, but with that
false smile as if to say, of course I cannot help what my staff does behind
my back or rather YOUR back.  But nobody can accuse ME of being a bitch.  Of
course having that "televangical" type prude on the show was a total
surprise, what a puritan hypocrite, but what great following this Miss Do
Good (who apparently is against abortion and prostitution) had in that
stupid crowd.  She must have been very well trained as she kept on
interrupting anybody that was talking and successfully!!

BTW, I was told by the panel participant who had recently started working as
a pro while in her early forties, that after the TV show was finished, she
was approached by two staff members who offered her to come back on the JSR
show if she felt the moment was ripe for her to reveal to her youngest son
and millions of Americans that she was working as a hooker.  They asked her
if she thought it would traumatize him to find out the truth some day, as
though if she were to make such a public confession on the JSR show, it
would not traumatize him even more!

According to the audience, the funniest remark I made was, when asked
whether I was a bisexual woman, I answered "No, I am trisexual.  I will try
anything once."  Again this remark got a healthy laugh from an otherwise
very sick audience, lucky me!  When the show was over and done with, I was
asked by the exquisite looking black girl, Stephanie, (also a staff member)
if I could explain to her how to give the perfect blowjob.  I told her,
"Honey, read my books, but I guess with your looks and those beautiful
sensual lips of yours, there is little to teach you anymore." She did not
look that naive.

All in all? it made me realize once more how glad I am to be living in
Europe, where people are more tolerant and have a lot more class.  At least
the audience gets carefully screened and selected for our wide variety of
TV shows.

I did of course enjoy seeing THE LIFE the following night and I also had a
chance to get to know Norma Jean Almodovar a lot better.  Maybe I will come
to New York in October, if there will be another Hooker Ball and some sort
of art exhibit which NJ is setting up, but that is up to her to announce.


Check out the site at if you have
high nausea-tolerance.  For those overseas, be grateful you don't get her.


We do, dear Catherine, on Sky channel.  But most of us prefer to watch Oprah!
Love and let's see what they have left in and cut out of this program.  I
am sure Catherine or I will let you know when the program will be aired, if
Norman Jean will send us the exact date??

Xaviera Hollander

Goddess bless,
Catherine La Croix
Executive Director

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