Fun_People Archive
20 Jun
The Comedian's Eye View of 6-23-97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 20 Jun 97 17:08:19 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 6-23-97

Excerpted-from: 6-23-97- ShopTalk

                         Monday June 23, 1997

	"Why do we all have to be naked to get along?"

	   -Actress Julia Roberts- in her opinion, it's possible for men
	    and women to be just good friends


Modern Living: The Commission on the Future of Medical Education concluded
that new doctors will need HMO schooling, says Jimmy McGill.  "The referrals
have been submitted, and the doctors must now wait two weeks to see if their
training requests will be denied."

There is a new Jerry Garcia credit card.  "It's especially useful on those
long, strange trips." (Kenny Noble Cortes)

"Don't leave the micro-bus without it," says Steve Voldseth.

Leaders of the Southern Baptist Convention are urging their 15.7 million
members to boycott all Disney films, parks and products, because of the
company's "gay-friendly" policies.  "The final straw was when Disney
announced Tweedledee could get health insurance coverage for his life
partner, Tweedledum." (Jerry Perisho)

Ad Mammal: The Federal Trade Commission continues to go after Joe Camel for
allegedly enticing minors to smoke.  "Other brands have problems too.
Marlboro executives are saying their ads are targeted to sell horses, not
cigarettes." (Aldo Cammarota)

"The government wants Joe Camel ads where kids will never see them.  How
about inside algebra textbooks?" (Jay Leno)

Bill and Newt: "Greenpeace members dumped a 5-foot pile of coal on the
Capitol lawn," says Argus Hamilton.  "Within an hour, President Clinton had
sold the mining rights to Indonesia."

GOP hard-liners in the House are going after Newt Gingrich, says the Cutler
Daily Scoop.  "Fortunately for Newt, he included a no-trade clause in his
'contract with America.'"

Gingrich celebrated his 54th birthday Tuesday, says Leno. "A quiet man,
Newt.  He just spent the evening in his office, cutting off disaster aid to
flood victims."

The president picked La Jolla to give his speech supporting affirmative
action, an interesting choice.  "It's the richest town anywhere," says
Hamilton.  "Last week someone stole $50,000 from a La Jolla bank, and police
are still looking for a motive."

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