Fun_People Archive
2 Sep
Goil Quotes

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  2 Sep 97 11:41:55 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Goil Quotes

Forwarded-by: Dan Hunt <>

I'm not offended by all the dumb blond jokes because I know I'm not dumb...
and I also know that I'm not blond.
			- Dolly Parton

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart
woman with a dumb guy.
			- Erica Jong

I want to have children, but my friends scare me.  One of my friends told
me she was in labor for 36 hours.  I don't even want to do anything that
feels GOOD for 36 hours.
			- Rita Rudner

I figure that if the children are alive when I get home, I've done my job.
			- Roseanne

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't
decide to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
			- Rita Rudner

I was on a date recently, and the guy took me horseback riding. That was
kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
			- Susie Loucks

This guy says, "I'm perfect for you, 'cause I'm a cross between a macho and
a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"
			- Judy Tenuta

He tricked me into marrying him.  He told me he was pregnant
			- Carol Leifer

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
			- Wendy Liebman

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
			- Erma Bombeck

If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them.
			- Sue Grafton

I base my fashion taste on what doesn't itch.
			- Gilda Radner

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
			- Roseanne

I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't.  So I grew hair under
my arms instead.
			- Sue Kolinsky

I look just like the girls next door . . . if you happen to live next door
to an amusement park.
			- Dolly Parton

I found out why cats drink out of the toilet.  My mother told me it's
because it's cold in there. And I'm like: How did my mother know THAT?
			- Wendy Liebman

I think - therefore I'm single
			- Lizz Winstead

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