Fun_People Archive
24 Sep
A few quotes for 9/24/97

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 24 Sep 97 10:58:10 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: A few quotes for 9/24/97

Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <>
Forwarded-by: "Keith E. Sullivan" <>

It's a good thing Lincoln wrote the Gettysburg Address the year that he did,
or else that "four score and seven years" part would have just been plain
	-- Paul Paternoster

They say it's never too late to learn to play the piano, but at 2 am, I
really wish my roommate would quit and go to bed.
	-- Nathan Hansar

It seemed like a silly idea at first, but now I sleep much better with my
eyes closed.
	-- Wade Kwon

I think the toughest part of being good at a rain dance is that no one would
let you into their nightclubs.
	-- Dave James

I had this weird dream last night that, after a huge meal, I was brushing
my teeth with a chicken leg.  Upon waking, I realized that I had merely used
my dog's toothpaste by mistake.
	-- Joel McClure

A good title for a subliminal self-help tape would be "Head Cleaner."  I
bet you'd sell a bunch just by accident.
	-- Rich Hall

I'm convinced the most honest product on America's store shelves is Milk
Duds.  Why?  Because it's willing to admit it's a failure.  It says so right
on the box:  Duds.
	-- Rich Hall

If you can't get your books or receipts to balance out, here's a useful term
vending machine distributors rely on:  "Slug Factor."
	-- Rich Hall

Try calling up strangers in the phone book and forgiving them.  Not only
will it loosen you up for the crucial real thing, the strangers will feel
better.  Everyone likes to know they're forgiven.
	-- Rich Hall

September is National Chicken Month.  Now, does that come before or after
National Egg Month?

Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <>
Forwarded-by: chuck yerkes <>
Forwarded-by: Alex Reith <>

You know, television was actually invented in the 1890s, but they couldn't
get it to work until the '40s when they came out with gaffer tape.
	-- Walter Pyle, CBS

Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms.  And if
you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.
	-- Alfred Hitchcock

Inside every digital circuit, there's an analog signal screaming to get out.
	-- Al Kovalick, Hewlett-Packard

Don't you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence?
There's one marked "Brightness," but it don't work.
	-- Gallagher

The TV business ... is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic
hallway where thieves and pimps run free and good men die like dogs, for no
good reason.
	-- Hunter S. Thompson

The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle: they're on
	-- Homer Simpson

Television isn't a medium.  It's a small.
	-- Unknown

prev [=] prev © 1997 Peter Langston []