Fun_People Archive
26 Sep
Ten Technologies Not Allowed in Congress

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 97 12:00:42 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Ten Technologies Not Allowed in Congress

Forwarded-by: "Jack D. Doyle" <>


Congress is debating the use of laptops in legislative sessions.  And there
are ten other technologies that are also in danger of being outlawed in our
halls of government:

10. Wristwatches and clocks: would help squash the ongoing "my filibuster
    is longer than yours" contest

9.  GPS: have to protect the map-vending machine in the lobby

8.  Magic Eight Ball: known to be more precise and perceptive than official
    congressional dartboard

7.  Television: would distract our elected officials way too easily

6.  Automobiles: walking to work in Washington, DC, might do them some good

5.  Electric toothbrushes: bad breath has been demonstrated to shorten
    legislative sessions by up to 40 percent

4.  Pagers:  oh, sorry, we meant *pages*

3.  Radios: there have been just too many fights over whether to listen to
    Stern or Limbaugh

2.  Calculators: let them add up campaign contributions by hand!

1.  Telephones: what--communicate with our constituency?

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