Great, Scott! - New Product Report
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 6 Nov 97 17:43:22 -0800
Subject: Great, Scott! - New Product Report
[See <http://www.empire.net/~psl/Fun_People/1997/1997APB.html> to understand
dm's comment... -psl]
[UPDATE: The Fun_People archive moved in September 1998 to:
Forwarded-by: Christopher Leithiser <email@example.com>
[Speaking of toilet paper designs, in light of recent legal
difficulties, a friend hopes they come out with a new pattern
featuring a quill Pen and a Rose. --- dm]
EAST FILABUCKET, NY /DenounceNewswire/ -- October 30, 1997 --
Kimberly-Clark, makers of the popular Scott brand of bathroom tissue, today
announced its new "HTTP://" brand of bathroom tissue targeted directly to
the 90's "digerati" market.
Scott Tissue is the world's oldest and best-selling bathroom tissue,
available in more countries than any other brand of tissue. Introduced in
1913, Scott Tissue is soft, strong and long lasting with 1,000-sheet rolls.
The new "HTTP://" (pronounced "H,T,T,P Colon Slash Slash") tissue will be
available in one kilosheet (1024 sheet) rolls instead of the traditional
1000-sheet rolls. "If our test markets are any indicator, the 1K rolls
should be a big hit with not only the geeks on the go, but also geeks who've
got to go!"
Each sheet of the 1K-sheet rolls of "HTTP://" Tissue will feature a
different image from a popular web page. The web page images are provided
by a number of sponsors, most notably Microsoft Corporation, the lead
sponsor with over 256 sheets displaying different screen shots from the
company's various web sites. In a bold marketing move, Microsoft and
Kimberly-Clark agreed to co-market the "HTTP://" Tissue with the slogan,
"When Do You Want to Go Today?"
© 1997 Peter Langston