Three Women & Twelve Answers
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sat, 22 Nov 97 13:30:20 -0800
Subject: Three Women & Twelve Answers
Forwarded-by: "Otermat, Dennis E" <Dennis.Otermat@unisys.com>
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Forwarded-by: Screwy and Bare Elegance <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Three women at a cocktail party are discussing their positions in life, and
it's clear that they're trying to one-up each other. The first one says,
"My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks on vacation,"
and looks at the others smugly. The second one says, "Well, my husband just
bought me a new Mercedes," and flashes back a haughty smile. Young woman
number three looks down and says, "Well, to be perfectly honest, we don't
have much money and we don't have many material possessions. However, one
thing I can tell you about my boyfriend is that fourteen canaries can stand
shoulder to shoulder on his erect member." Hearing this, the first one looks
shamefaced and says, "Girls, I've got a confession to make: I was just
trying to impress you. You know that vacation I was telling you about?
Well, it's not to the French Riviera; it's to my folks' house in Terre
Haute." The second one says, "Your honesty has shamed me. It's not a
Mercedes; it's a Plymouth." "Well, I've got a confession to make myself:
Canary number fourteen has to stand on one leg."
ANSWERS TO "SO WHY AREN'T YOU MARRIED YET?"
1. I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.
2. Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating
3. It gives my mother something to live for
4. It didn't seem worth a blood test.
5. I was hoping to do something meaningful with my life.
6. What? And spoil my great sex life?
7. Nobody would believe me in white.
8. (Bonus reply for Single Mothers) Because having a husband and a child
would be redundant.
9. Do you know how hard it is to get TWO tickets to Miss Saigon?
10. My co-op board doesn't allow spouses. (A New York Special)
11. I guess it just goes to prove that you can't trust those voodoo doll
12. Because I just love hearing this question.
© 1997 Peter Langston