Gay Comedians Speak Out
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 23 Nov 97 14:51:18 -0800
Subject: Gay Comedians Speak Out
Forwarded-by: adam cavan <firstname.lastname@example.org>
GAY COMEDIANS SPEAK OUT IN THE NEW YORK TIMES
If homosexuality is a disease, let's all call in queer to work. Hello, can't
work today. Still queer."
-- Robin Tyler
My Aunt Lorraine said, "Bob, you're gay. Are you seeing a psychiatrist?"
I said, "No. I'm seeing a lieutenant in the Navy."
-- Bob Smith
I don't even consider myself bisexual. Frankly, I just think of myself as
a "people person."
Labels can also be misleading. I saw a news report about a lesbian protest
march, and the reporter said, "Coming up next, a lesbian demonstration."
My first thought was, "Cool. I always wondered how those things work."
I know that some lesbians are getting pregnant by going to sperm banks. I
couldn't do that. I'm exactly like my grandmother. "What? Everything's
frozen?! Nothing's fresh?!"
-- Michael Dane
I came out to a straight friend and told her that I'm a lesbian. The first
thing she said to me was: "Really? Do you know Jill McGee? She's a lesbian
in Philadelphia!" Pardon me for laughing, but straight people are so funny!
They think we all know each other! Actually, I do know her. But, hey, it's
just a coincidence!
-- Karen Ripley
I do not care whether they allow gays in the military or not, because the
whole idea of the military strikes me as completely absurd. I do not
understand the desire to pick up a gun and go off and shoot strangers when
there are so many loved ones I'd like to take a shot at first. I'd have to
reload several times to get every one on my particular hit list of love.
-- E.L. Greggory
Yes, I was a teenage lesbian. And while that may sound like a horror movie
to some of you, for me I could subtitle that period of my life, "Adventures
in Paradise," because there was one thing that we gay teenagers could do
that our straight friends couldn't. I could say, "Hey, Mom, Michelle's
comin' over to spend the night Friday night, OK?" "OK, Honey!"
-- Marilyn Pittman
I do a lot of traveling as a comic. I've traveled through the Bible Belt.
"Belt" is too narrow a word, I think. It should be "Bible cummerbund." Or
maybe "Bible Body Cast."
Billy Graham has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What
must hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?
-- Sabrina Matthews
© 1997 Peter Langston