Fun_People Archive
26 Nov
In Some Venues It Takes Three to Tango

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 26 Nov 97 18:43:34 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: In Some Venues It Takes Three to Tango

Forwarded-by: (Rick Ruskin)

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand--a
grandmotherly, elderly woman.  He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do
you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams.   I've known you since
you were a young boy.  And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the
brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper
pusher.  Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned.  Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She replied, "Why yes, I do.  I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too.  I used to babysit him for his parents.  And he, too, has
been a real disappointment to me.  He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking
problem.  The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law
practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.  Yes, I know him."

At this point the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both
counselors to the bench.  In a quiet but menacing voice, he said, "If either
of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5

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