The SBJGS and Company-wide Morale Boosting
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 2 Dec 97 15:31:45 -0800
Subject: The SBJGS and Company-wide Morale Boosting
Forwarded-by: Nev Dull <email@example.com>
Forwarded-by: Paul Brown <firstname.lastname@example.org>
[clipped to protect the guilty]
Had the most interesting conversation with the top sales weasel at our
company today. She came into my office and noticed I had a box of Altoids
on my desk.(Have you had them? They are these obnoxiously strong
peppermints made in England.) As soon as she saw them, she burst into
laughter. Turns out she had recently had an affair with a guy who called
her and left her an incredibly steamy voice mail message after an encounter.
He went on and on about what a blow job goddess she was, how amazing she
was, how he'd never be the same, etc. She was kind of puzzled, thinking:
what did I do to this guy that was so different from my regular technique?
She finally figured it out: she's a smoker, and before getting intimate with
him, she had gone to the bathroom to "freshen up." Not having a toothbrush,
she crunched on about four Altoids and then got busy. Apparently things
So she passed this little tidbit on to another female sales weasel, who
immediately tried it out on *her* fiance. Apparently this guy has never,
ever been into oral sex, but liked the mint sensation so much that he asked
her to stop and chew another Altoid mid-blow job. He is now a fellatio
This news has been going around our office. Having a box of Altoids on your
desk is now like being part of the Secret Blowjob Goddess Society [SBJGS].
It's the equivalent of having the hottest car or coolest computer. News
spread like crazy among the females, who all went out at lunch to Walgreens
to buy a box of Altoids (about $2 for 100 or so), and their partners across
the city tonight are getting one hell of a corporate blow job. As far as
company-wide morale boosting events, it doesn't get much better.
Some of the men found out, too -- they went out after work to buy them for
their wives. They strategized on how to get their wives to eat them. And
people wonder why I work in technology.
(For what it's worth -- it really does work! It leaves a lasting tingle
that is apparently quite exquisite.)
© 1997 Peter Langston