You'll never take me alive!
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 19 Dec 97 21:28:56 -0800
Subject: You'll never take me alive!
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In Colombia, meanwhile, a burglar shot himself after being set upon by a
gang of wigs. Antonio Laras, 27, of Bogot6, had broken into a local factory
while high on drugs intending to rob its office. As he made his way through
the workshop, however, he noticed what he took to be a group of security
guards lurking behind a bench. He duly shot at them before making a dash
for the exit, only to discover his path was blocked by more guards, at whom
he fired wildly before diving behind a packing crate. Here he remained for
20 minutes, shooting intermittently until, realising he was surrounded, he
screamed: "You won't take me alive!" and shot himself in the head. What he
didn't know, however, was that the factory was actually a wig factory, and
the 'security guards' were, in fact, mannequins with toupees on their beads.
"They were far more effective than our real guard," said the owner, "who
was so drunk he slept through the whole thing."
© 1997 Peter Langston