Fun_People Archive
5 Jan
The Cowboy Way? -- A Cowboy's Guide to Life

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  5 Jan 98 17:01:49 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Cowboy Way? -- A Cowboy's Guide to Life

[Here it is: a Rider's in the Sky show without that music they play...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: Eric Steese <>
Forwarded-by: LynnJA

    "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On, A Cowboy's Guide To Life"

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.  Your mouth is probably
a whole lot bigger'n you think.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin'
somebody else's dog around.

Never ask a man the size of his spread.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.  The moral:
when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey.

Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly. >>>>>Oh, I might do that!

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to
make sure it's still there.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be
suprised if they learn their lesson.

The best way to have a quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in the
oven to bake at 325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill it,
and when it's done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, but
otherwise ignore it.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around
by somebody else.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back.

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.  It's not so important
to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in
your pocket.

A smart ass just don't fit in a saddle.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

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