Fun_People Archive
14 Jan
The Comedian's-eye View of 01/15/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 14 Jan 98 18:45:08 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 01/15/98

Excerpted-from: 01/15/98 -- ShopTalk

                        Thursday January 15, 1998

     "The truth of the matter is, since we never really negotiated with
      anybody, we don't know what they would have legitimately
      paid...Without "ER" on NBC, I think a lot of the networks felt that
      if they got "ER," they could have become the No.1 network."
				- Warner Bros. Co-Chairman Bob Daly on the
				  announcement that NBC will pay $13 Million
				  per episode to keep "ER" on Peacock Web as
				  quoted in Electronic Media


Faulty Logic Department: They've got Ted Kaczynski on a 24-hour suicide
watch.  "The idea is to keep him alive so we can put him on trial to make
sure he gets the death penalty." (Jay Leno)

Global Warming?: Ice storms paralyzed northeastern Canada.  "It's their
worst winter since 1814.  That year, it was so cold they had to burn the
White House to stay warm." (Argus Hamilton)

Killer Conditions: Freezing weather has also created hazardous road
conditions on both coasts of the U.S.  "But if you're in Oregon and you spin
out, you have a choice of being towed or getting a doctor- assisted
suicide." (Bill Williams)

Pirates of the Mediterranean: Iran's President Mohammed Hatami says there
are plans to build a $200-million theme park in Iran.  "It's a lot like our
Disneyland, except their Tomorrowland is the 14th Century." (Leno)

R.I.P: A public memorial for comic Chris Farley was held in Santa Monica.
"Unlike Sonny Bono's funeral, it wasn't covered live by CNN, but it was on
the Food Channel." (Daily Scoop)

Jailhouse Rock: "Actor Christian Slater need not fear his 90-day jail term.
The L.A. County Jail does its best to make stars feel right at home.  A
transfer to another jail is called a 'career move' and solitary confinement
is 'a closed set.'" (Bob Mills)

Keeping Up With the Jones: "President Clinton should have settled out of
court with Unabimbo Paul Jones before she raised her demand from $700,000
to $2 million.  His umbrella insurance policy covers him for $2 million for
sexual harassment, so he could have paid her the $700,000, avoided an
embarrassing trial and still had enough money to harass two more women."

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