Fun_People Archive
2 Mar
The Comedian's-eye View of 03/03/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  2 Mar 98 20:06:08 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 03/03/98

Excerpted-from: 03/03/98 -- ShopTalk

                         Tuesday, March 3, 1998

               "I'm sick of Monica Lewinski and El Nino."

                                       Tracey Ullman


Mean and Sober: Basketball star Charles Barkley says he'll no longer drink
six beers and six cocktails the night before games.  "It was affecting his
shooting.  The last three bar patrons missed the front window completely."
(Argus Hamilton)

Friendlier Skies: To make airport runways safer, the FAA wants to require
three minutes between takeoffs.  "This would alter the current four hours
and three minutes." (Alan Ray)

OJ Spin-off: Fred Goldman will host a new TV show called "Search for
Justice."  "Doesn't he know that any chance at being taken seriously was
killed by his mustache?" (Premiere Radio)

"The band members of the Eagles have filed a lawsuit claiming copyright
infringement against the National Foundation to Protect America's Eagles.
They're also suing the Philadelphia Eagles, Eagle Brand Snack Foods, and
the seal of the President of the United States." (Zack Taylor -- Westwood
One Radio Network)

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