Fun_People Archive
3 Mar
Latin Phrases for the 90s

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  3 Mar 98 21:38:48 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Latin Phrases for the 90s

From: Chris White's (see notice at end)

	The Top 15 Latin Phrases for the 90's

15 "Log floggit cum palma folliculus."
	(If you don't stop it, you'll go blind.)

14 "Nolo Contendere."
	(Hillary, you're on your own.)

13 "Domino vobiscum."
	(The pizza guy's here.)

12 "Dumbassus!  Hottie iste transvestitus!"
	(Fool!  That gorgeous woman is a crossdresser!)

11 "Auda similarum ad seattles."
	(They all sound just like Pearl Jam.)

10 "Erectionus finalum."
	(Anna Nicole Smith is here, Gramps.)

 9 "Boobi falsetti starrius."
	(Sugar, if ya wanna be a star, you're gonna have to do something
	 about that bustline.)

 8 "Veni, veni, veni."
	(I came, I came, I came.)

 7 "Sharpei diem."
	(Sieze the Wrinkle Dog.)

 6 "Nucleo predicus dispella conducticus."
	(Remove foil before microwaving.)

 5 "Motorolus interruptus."
	(Hold on, I'm going into a tunnel.)

 4 "Il guyus nissanem iste ickye."
	(That Nissan guy gives me the creeps.)

 3 "Bodicus mutilatimus, unemploymi forevercus."
	(Better take the nose ring out before the job interview.)

 2 "Dictum ad tua mater."
	(Word to your mother!)

 and the Number 1 Latin Phrase for the 90's...

 1 "Minutus cantorum, minutus balorum,  minutus carborata descendum pantorum."
	(A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants.)

Today's "Missed It By *THAT* Much!" Awards:

* "Muertes impendum pro saxophones."
-- (Kenny G. must die.)

* "Aquaductus non diuresis!"
-- (Don't pee in the pool!)

* "Si non vittet, accuittere debetis."
-- (If it doesn't fit, you must acquit.)

* "E Pluribus Tupac."
-- (Rap is everywhere.)

* "Alanis horribulus."
-- (That singer has too damn many personal issues.)

* "Carpe trojana!"
-- (Grab the condoms!)

* "Veni, vidi, Pesci."
-- (I came, I saw, I moidered da bum.)

* "Herpescum Dolores Es?"
-- (Have You Been Tested Recently?)

* "Willum fibium comum tupeum."
-- (Clinton lies like a rug!)

* "De comedius non listus nomis uricani."
-- (In matters of comedy, there can be no hurricane name lists.)

The others:

* "E Pluribus Sternum"
-- (E!: The Howard Stern Publicity Channel)

* "Revelare Pecunia!"
-- (Show Me The Money!)

* "Superus Listum Quinque: Domus Burritum Tofus"
-- (The Top 5 List: Home of the Tofu Burrito)

* "Robotisticus Governantimus Inevitabilitus."
-- (Al Gore is GOING to Be President.)

* "Si Archibus Omnibus come, ego vometo."
-- (If I eat an Arch Deluxe, I'll puke.)

* "Ignoramus microsoftis multa pecunia dat."
-- (Yeah, where *do* I want to go today??)

* "Concordia cum Jacksona"
-- ("In Harmony with the Jacksons, now only $15 on cassette or compact disc.)

* "Vertere MCIi et conservare pecuniam."
-- (Switch to MCI and save money.)

* "Sic semper tyrannus."
-- (Your dinosaur is ill.)

* "No Quid Pro Quo."
-- (I'm Sorry, We're All Out of Quid.)

* "Cavaet humanus sic tofu burritus e toga."
-- (Beware of the man with a tofu burrito in his toga.)

* "Fortis Vobiscum."
-- (May the Force Be With You.)

* "Nunc Tutus Exitus Computarus."
-- (It's Now Safe To Turn Off Your Computer.)

* "Cui Bono Congresso?"
-- (Is it good for Sonny Bono?)

* "Tempo fugit."
-- (I drove my Ford off a bridge.)

* "Veni, vedi, vichy."
-- (I came, I saw, I capitulated to the Germans.)

* "Litigata Ergo Sum."
-- (I sue, therefore I am.)

* "Coitus octagenarius deneiro."
-- (Anna Nicole's guide to marriage.)

* "Et tu, Bubba?"
-- (Would you like fries with that, Mr. President?)

* "De mortuis nil nisi boner."
-- (Say nothing but good of the impotent.)

* "Et tu, pluribus unum?"
-- (The government just stabbed me in the back!)

* "Cavett Emptor."
-- (Beware, Dick Cavett could still make a comeback.)

* "Tempis Macarena Fugit."
-- (Time flies when you're doing the Macarena.)

* "Veni, Vidi, VCR."
-- (I came, I saw, I rented it at Blockbuster.)

* "Coitus cyber-interruptus."
-- (AOL problems while chatting with a hot babe on the Net.)

* "E pluribus septum."
-- (Multiple nose piercings.)

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