NTK Bits, 6/3/98
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 6 Mar 98 13:28:02 -0800
Subject: NTK Bits, 6/3/98
Excerpted-from: NTK now, 6/3/98
by "Danny O'Brien" <email@example.com>
>> HARD NEWS <<
made to confuse
Jim "Netscape" Barksdale, Scott "Sun" McNealy and Bill "Everything
Else" Gates were called to a SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE hearing this
Wednesday to explain exactly what all this goddamn commotion was
about. Jimmy and Scott said it was Billy who'd started it, that he'd
told Michael Dell not to play with them. Also, they alleged,
whenever Jimmy and Scott wanted to play, Billy always had to join
in (because he owned the ball). Senator Hatch and his colleagues
asked Michael whether this was true. Michael said that he just
wanted to play with Billy this one time, and Billy said Michael
could borrow the ball to play with Jimmy if that's what he wanted
to do. Scott and Jim started shouting at Billy, saying that was a
lie; further, that he was a cheat; and moreover that he was just
using his ball ownership as leverage in order to establish a
commanding presence in other unrelated game sectors. When asked by
Senator Hatch whether they thought the government should spank
anyone here who was lying, all of them went quiet and said no. The
hearing was adjourned when Billy started to cry.
- The "real" Gates diary. Ironically, not real at all.
- "Real" Video and "Real" Audio of the event.
- a body language expert writes: Gates has
"a Princess Diana quality about him"
Just how tolerant are the INTERNET WATCH FOUNDATION? That's the
self-referential question that the IWF will be asking, after their
announcement of a proposed rating system for UK Web sites on
Wednesday. The new ratings include a special "tolerance" setting,
which varies between 0 (neutral to other groups) to 4 ("Advocates
action which would cause physical, psychological or economic harm
or violence against the group"). Naturally, the IWF would hope that
economic harm would occur to anyone who *didn't* stick their ratings
tag on all their Web pages, so that gets them a four. Also
intriguing is the "sex" rating, which estimates "periods, etc." as
a "2", and masturbation as a "4". Startling to think that without
the IWF, innocent teenagers might have stumbled across these issues.
- Not to be confused with the Internet Wrestling Federation
- Yaman gets a 4 in all our books. Baby.
The Good Ship of British Government continues to sail perilously
close to the Ginormous Rocks of NUMBINGLY STUPID CRYPTO LEGISLATION.
This week, the DTI has been calling up everyone it knows to find
out whether *any* business interest thinks key escrow is a good
idea. Not a great time to do so, given that in the US, a broad
coalition of companies have just launched a $15 million media
campaign to publicise their opposition over there. And these
dangerous radicals are? Let's see: Microsoft, Intel, Netscape,
Cisco, Sun, 3Com, AOL, Adobe, Lotus, Compaq, Honeywell, Rockwell,
SCO, Mastercard, Visa... looks like GCHQ is going to have problems
keeping track, even *with* their private keys.
- trusted third parties? They don't even trust each other
- bless their "pillars of the Net community" socks
[Because the crypto issue is so fast moving
(and, of course, really James Bondish and
exciting) NTK has set up a special mailing list
so you can receive almost-daily updates. For top
news on spooks, cypherpunks, those funny
politicians and what you can do to help, e-mail
<firstname.lastname@example.org> with the message
"subscribe crypto-announce". First MI5 plant
wins a special prize! ]
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
MS to dump IE channel bar, claims "is unpopular"... WINDOWS NT
crashes: world's media horrified... Apple ditches NEWTON; owners
plan protest march: look forward to seeing those placard
spellings... Worst URL of the week:
publicity gets desperate: www.sludgereport.com... Top model Honor
Fraser uses TIMES INTERFACE "for all her computer news" -
Guardian... "POINTCAST In No Rush For IPO"... JULIAN LLOYD WEBBER
says media ignores classical music "unless semi-naked bimbo
violinists" are involved... How many programmers does BIB have?
How about "three"?... Net Cited As Avenue For Computer Crime,
uncovers WIRED... COMPUTER CHANNEL relaunches as .TV, preserves
commitment to boring rubbish... Microsoft hate us, PSION moans...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
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It is registered at the Post Office as
"AGENTS/WHORES/SLAVES/HIRED ASSASSINS/WITCHES AND/OR
TELEPATHICALLY-CONTROLLED WITCH'S CATS"
NEED TO KNOW
THEY STOLE OUR REVOLUTION. NOW WE'RE STEALING IT BACK.
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© 1998 Peter Langston