Fun_People Archive
6 Mar
NTK Bits, 6/3/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri,  6 Mar 98 13:28:02 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: NTK Bits, 6/3/98

Excerpted-from: NTK now, 6/3/98
		by "Danny O'Brien" <>

                               >> HARD NEWS <<
                               made to confuse

	Jim "Netscape" Barksdale, Scott "Sun" McNealy and Bill "Everything
	Else" Gates were called to a SENATE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE hearing this
	Wednesday to explain exactly what all this goddamn commotion was
	about. Jimmy and Scott said it was Billy who'd started it, that he'd
	told Michael Dell not to play with them. Also, they alleged,
	whenever Jimmy and Scott wanted to play, Billy always had to join
	in (because he owned the ball). Senator Hatch and his colleagues
	asked Michael whether this was true. Michael said that he just
	wanted to play with Billy this one time, and Billy said Michael
	could borrow the ball to play with Jimmy if that's what he wanted
	to do. Scott and Jim started shouting at Billy, saying that was a
	lie; further, that he was a cheat; and moreover that he was just
	using his ball ownership as leverage in order to establish a
	commanding presence in other unrelated game sectors. When asked by
	Senator Hatch whether they thought the government should spank
	anyone here who was lying, all of them went quiet and said no. The
	hearing was adjourned when Billy started to cry.
		- The "real" Gates diary. Ironically, not real at all.
		- "Real" Video and "Real" Audio of the event.
		- a body language expert writes: Gates has
		  "a Princess Diana quality about him"

	Just how tolerant are the INTERNET WATCH FOUNDATION? That's the
	self-referential question that the IWF will be asking, after their
	announcement of a proposed rating system for UK Web sites on
	Wednesday. The new ratings include a special "tolerance" setting,
	which varies between 0 (neutral to other groups) to 4 ("Advocates
	action which would cause physical, psychological or economic harm
	or violence against the group"). Naturally, the IWF would hope that
	economic harm would occur to anyone who *didn't* stick their ratings
	tag on all their Web pages, so that gets them a four. Also
	intriguing is the "sex" rating, which estimates "periods, etc." as
	a "2", and masturbation as a "4". Startling to think that without
	the IWF, innocent teenagers might have stumbled across these issues.
		- Not to be confused with the Internet Wrestling Federation
		- Yaman gets a 4 in all our books. Baby.

	The Good Ship of British Government continues to sail perilously
	close to the Ginormous Rocks of NUMBINGLY STUPID CRYPTO LEGISLATION.
	This week, the DTI has been calling up everyone it knows to find
	out whether *any* business interest thinks key escrow is a good
	idea. Not a great time to do so, given that in the US, a broad
	coalition of companies have just launched a $15 million media
	campaign to publicise their opposition over there. And these
	dangerous radicals are? Let's see: Microsoft, Intel, Netscape,
	Cisco, Sun, 3Com, AOL, Adobe, Lotus, Compaq, Honeywell, Rockwell,
	SCO, Mastercard, Visa... looks like GCHQ is going to have problems
	keeping track, even *with* their private keys.
		- trusted third parties? They don't even trust each other
		- bless their "pillars of the Net community" socks

                    [Because the crypto issue is so fast moving
                    (and, of course, really James Bondish and
                    exciting) NTK has set up a special mailing list
                    so you can receive almost-daily updates. For top
                    news on spooks, cypherpunks, those funny
                    politicians and what you can do to help, e-mail
                    <> with the message
                    "subscribe crypto-announce". First MI5 plant
                    wins a special prize! ]

                               >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

	MS to dump IE channel bar, claims "is unpopular"... WINDOWS NT
	crashes: world's media horrified... Apple ditches NEWTON; owners
	plan protest march: look forward to seeing those placard
	spellings... Worst URL of the week:  MACROMEDIA
	publicity gets desperate: Top model Honor
	Fraser uses TIMES INTERFACE "for all her computer news" -
	says media ignores classical music "unless semi-naked bimbo
	violinists" are involved...  How many programmers does BIB have?
	How about "three"?...  Net Cited As Avenue For Computer Crime,
	uncovers WIRED...  COMPUTER CHANNEL relaunches as .TV, preserves
	commitment to boring rubbish...  Microsoft hate us, PSION moans...

                              >> SMALL PRINT <<

      Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
        happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
      on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
    nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
                    It is registered at the Post Office as

                                 NEED TO KNOW
                        Archive -
                     Excuses -

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