Fun_People Archive
5 Apr
The Begging Business & the Insatiable Soup du Jour

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun,  5 Apr 98 22:08:48 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: The Begging Business & the Insatiable Soup du Jour

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: "Keith E. Sullivan" <KSullivan@worldnet.att.net>
Forwarded-by: Maiser@mail.otherwhen.com

BEGGING BUSINESS

Two men are begging outside the Vatican, one holding up a star of David,
and the other, a few yards away, holding up a crucifix.  Naturally, people
are walking out of the Vatican, looking disdainfully at the Jew and
defiantly placing money in the beggar's dish with the crucifix.

A priest, rather perturbed by the situation, goes up to the man with the
Star of David and says:  "Do yourself a favor -- move yourself to another
part of town.  You'll do a lot better."

The priest walks off and then the Jew calls out to the other beggar:  "Hey
Hymie, listen to him trying to tell us how to run our business!

Manly Matt Schulman <manlymat@bcscom.com>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
INSATIABLE SOUP DU JOUR

An old Jewish man goes to a diner every day for lunch.  He always orders
the soup du jour.  One day the manager asks him how he liked his meal.  The
old man replies "Wass goot, but you could give a little more bread."

So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him four slices of
bread instead of two.  "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks.  "Wass
goot, but you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.

So the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him eight slices of
bread.  "How was your meal today, sir?" the manager asks.  "Wass goot, but
you could give a little more bread," comes the reply.

So ... the next day the manager tells the waitress to give him a whole loaf
of bread with his soup.  "How was your meal, sir?" the manager asks, when
he comes to pay.  "Wass goot, but you could give just a little more bread,"
comes the reply once again.

The manager is now obsessed with seeing this customer say that he is
satisfied with his meal, so he goes to the bakery, and orders a special
six-foot-long loaf of bread.  When the man comes in as usual the next day,
the waitress and the manager cut the loaf in half, butter the entire length
of each half, and lay it out along the counter, right next to his bowl of
soup.  The old man sits down, and devours both his bowl of soup, and both
halves of the immense loaf of bread.

The manager now thinks he will get the answer he is looking for, and when
the old man comes up to pay for his meal, the manager asks in the usual way:
"How was your meal TODAY, sir?"

The old Jew replies:  "It wass goot as usual, but I see you are back to
giving only two slices of bread!"

Manly Matt Schulman <manly_matt@iaonline.com>

© 1998 Peter Langston