Fun_People Archive
8 Apr
The Comedian's-eye View of 04/09/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  8 Apr 98 18:51:55 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 04/09/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 04/09/98 -- ShopTalk

                         Thursday April 9, 1998

"It's pretty exciting about Titanic.  I haven't seen so many people this
 worked up about a sinking ship since the night I hosted the Academy Awards."
				- David Letterman


Teledating: PBS premiered the British children's series "Teletubbies." They
don't say much and have TV sets in the middle of their stomachs.  In other
words, they're the dream date for most American men. (Ira Lawson)

Baby, You Can Drive My Spaceship: The No. 1 movie is "Lost in Space." Even
though it's set hundreds of years in the future, it's really a timeless
story.  A family goes on vacation.  Mom can't read a map.  Dad won't stop
to ask for directions. (Jay Leno)

Psychobabble: A new version of "Psycho" will begin filming with a new
director and cast.  It will be different than the original: It will be in
color, have hip young stars, and suck.  (Dennis Miller)

Paris I: Michael Jackson and his wife named their new baby girl Paris,
because that's where the baby was conceived. Well, that and it's easier to
spell than "In Vitro." (Steve Voldseth)

Paris II: I guess Michael named his daughter Paris because that's where she
was conceived.  Rich, famous people do that.  They name the child where they
made love.  Local folks can't do that.  You don't want your son named
Burbank. (Leno)

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