NTK bits, 15/05/98
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 15 May 98 12:43:14 -0700
Subject: NTK bits, 15/05/98
Excerpted-from: NTK now, 15/05/98
_ _ _____ _ __ <*the* weekly high-tech sarcastic update for the UK>
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"Erotic fiction on the Web merits all the usual criticism
of writing on the Web -- there are tons of typos, and no
editorial hand whatsoever."
- JACK MURNIGHAN, editor of tasteful porn site NERVE
pls ekuse speling - editril hand bizy
>> HARD NEWS <<
turning to booze
Bill Gates may be able to turn his company around on a dime, but
only STEVE JOBS keeps his organisation swivelling like a top. At
the Apple Developer Conference this week, he announced yet another
graceful arc in corporate direction. Gone is the "I had to run
NeXT: now you will too" mantra he'd been pitching to scared Mac
developers for the last year: Rhapsody is no longer a separate
product, and the previously fuddy-duddy MacOS is back, back, BACK!
There are some changes: Jobs, inimitably, has taken his frustration
out on low-level MacOS functionaries: around 2000 of the Mac's 8000
API calls have been slaughtered. That's okay, apparently, because
no-one used them. And anyway, they disagreed with him. Rumours that
calls to the old addresses will be secretly intercepted by NeXT
managers hiding underneath the hardware abstraction layer, are, we
assured, to be disbelieved.
- Well, doh! We were holding the roadmap upside-down!
"Sorry we're late: the government made us do it" is an original
excuse for MICROSOFT blowing shipping dates, but in this case, it's
the truth. In a last minute face-off, Gates agreed to delay
delivering Windows 98 to manufacturers until the DOJ could decide
whether they want to sue his ass or not. Bill's generosity knows
no bounds - the new shipping date is Monday, giving the DOJ less
than 72 hours to pull him in. Expect top government counsel to hand
in their badges and go undercover to nab the international
fugitive, who, as we speak, is planning to blow up Seattle's Space
Needle using an embedded-NT timebomb and the wiles of his beautiful
- yet deadly - assistant, Myhrvold.
- putting the nervous back into "digital nervous system"
Remember when NORTEL announced the IP-down-the-power-lines hack,
and everyone racked their brains to work out the killer flaw? Was
it, perhaps, the isolation equipment you'd have to install into
every house that used it? Or the fibre lines Nortel would have to
spool out from each substation? Well, here's a likely contender:
Nick Long from the Low Power Radio Association reports that
streetlamps in the Nortel trial region have been acting as highly
efficient antennae, merrily broadcasting packets across much of
the shortwave radio bands. Bad for radio hams, not brilliant for
personal privacy - but what a great solution for multicasting Web
- see, we told you it was the new CB radio
- get IE4.0 to play "Daisy, Daisy" on your radio
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
LINEONE Beginner's Guide To Net links to wrong AltaVista... Apple
press ads offer Macs with 384MB RAM; boast it's "enough to keep
several applications open at the same time"
... INTERNET WORLD UK Exhibitors' Page links to - wrong
AltaVista... alt.ph.uk-ers plan to call James Whale's Talk Radio
show all at the same time - don't bored BT employees^H^H^H
Britain's top hackers have better things to do?...
"cyber-conversation", "cyber-confessions", and "cyber-sighs" all
used in same dreadful cyber-WEEKEND GUARDIAN cyber-article... NEW
REPUBLIC publish *entirely* fictional hacking story - editor fails
to notice... DAVE WINER wants Microsoft to "take it up the butt"...
MSN FRANCE vanishes - who next?... BRITISH COMPUTER SOCIETY'S
"Computer Driving Licence" displays date of issue- using just two
digits... ACTIVISION license "Soldier of Fortune" mag for games
titles... Times' INTERFACE section dispenses with services of
editor Kathryn Bailey; new guy Alan Copps kicks off with
up-to-the-minute review of Quake 2...
>> EVENT QUEUE <<
goto's considered non-harmful
Thanks to everyone who's joined the slagging of Lynda LaPlante's
KILLER NET drama series (10pm, Tues, C4), including many of those
involved as "technical consultants" on the show. We'll add them to
the site soon - *and* feature them in next week's NTK first
anniversary "Right To Reply" special, where we'll give people who
feel they've been "wronged" by us a chance to air their grievances,
by printing their objections and reactions in full, then taking
the piss out of them some more. Yes, this means you, "Dr Keyboard".
- laplante.demon.co.uk is, sadly, just the production company
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
It is registered at the Post Office as "the Treat of Versailles".
© 1998 Peter Langston