Fun_People Archive
22 May
The Comedian's-eye View of 05/22/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 22 May 98 02:39:57 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 05/22/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 05/22/98 -- ShopTalk

                          Friday May 22, 1998

     "The decision to broadcast this repugnant segment for any
      adult, adolescent or toddler to see is reprehensible and sends a
      disturbing message to America's families about the lengths that the
      TV industry will go to make an extra dollar."
		- Former Education Secretary Bill Bennett and Sen. Joe
		Lieberman (D-CT) in a letter to USA Networks CEO Barry
		Diller on Friday's 'The Jerry Springer Show' dealing with
		humans having sex with animals. (As quoted in Electronic
		Media's Daily Fax)

[I'm so glad we've moved on to the important stuff instead of all that
 whining about cigarette companies killing people to make an extra dollar.


Back-Breaking Business: President Clinton has been complaining about
backaches.  "No wonder Bill Clinton has a bad back.  Ken Starr's been on it
for years." (Stan Kaplan)

Dicey Odds: According to the latest medical report, there's a new pill that
will help people kick the gambling habit.  "Casinos are laying 2- 1 odds
that it won't work." (Earl Hochman)

Not Camera Ready: Jerry Springer has obtained a restraining order against
the tabloids showing stills from a clandestine tape of him with a porn star
and her stepmother in a hotel room.  "It can't be released until they add
a staged fight." (Gary Easley)

Not Sleeping Around: "Health officials have issued a warning with Viagra.
They say: "Women, if you sleep with a man who's on Viagra, you're not only
sleeping with him, you're sleeping with every woman he didn't sleep with
for the past eight years." (Jay Leno)

Commercial Break: The head of the National Assn. of Hispanic Publications
says Taco Bell's talking Chihuahua is offensive.  "Meanwhile, the National
Assn. of American Beer Drinkers wants the talking lizards removed form the
Budweiser commercials." (Perisho)

Do the Twist: Hollywood will re-release "Gone With the Wind" this summer,
but not before updating it for the '90s.  "They're taking out the silly war
story and renaming it 'Twister II.'" (Steve Voldseth)

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