Fun_People Archive
1 Jun
The Comedian's-eye View of June 2, 1998

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  1 Jun 98 20:40:42 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of June 2, 1998

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: ShopTalk -- June 2, 1998

                         Tuesday June 2, 1998

   "Designer Ralph Lauren, whose Polo fashion line has nothing to do with
    Polo, has sued Polo, the magazine of the U.S.  Polo Assn., which has
    everything to do with Polo, saying it has no right to use the word polo,
    which, the law being what they are these days, it may very well not."

				- Chicago Sun-Times columnist Zay N. Smith


What's the Percentage?: House Speaker Newt Gingrich charged Secretary of
State Madeleine Albright with being a Palestinian agent.  "This can't be
true.  She wants Israel to give up 13% of the West Bank.  Agents only get
10%." (Argus Hamilton)

So, Zoo Me: A fire in a New Jersey zoo killed more than 200 reptiles.  "It's
a real tragedy.  The community is now without any legal help." (Kenny Noble

Retiring: Marion Barry will not run for reelection as Mayor of Washington,
DC.  "Too bad.  Barry was a real crack politician." (Alex Kaseberg)

Bad Mouth: Johnnie Cochran says he was asked to represent Monica Lewinsky.
"Good thing he declined.  The last thing this country needs is Cochran
pointing at Lewinsky and shouting, 'If it doesn't fit, you must acquit.'"

Starr Power: "Now that Ken Starr can question Clinton advisors and White
House Secret Service agents experts are predicting he will bring the
president to his knees----or as it's better known, 'Interns Parade Rest."

Starr Gazing: "Astronomers have discovered a rogue planet moving out of
control through space, outside the jurisdiction of any solar system. It's
sort of the universe's version of Ken Starr." (Zack Taylor, Westwood One
Radio Network)

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