Fun_People Archive
16 Jul
The Comedian's-eye View of 07/16/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 16 Jul 98 10:39:08 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 07/16/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 07/16/98 -- ShopTalk

                         Thursday July 16, 1998

     "I did my breasts seven years ago, right after I had Dakota.
      But that's it. I don't want to feel like I have to look 20
      anymore...I'm not going to live a life where I have to have
      plastic surgery every 10 years...Well, maybe every 20."

                        Actress Melanie Griffith in Good Housekeeping


Confused Campaigns: Dan Quayle hired one of the country's top campaign
managers to manage his run for the White House in 2000.  "The guy was hired
just in time.  Quayle was this close to coming out against HMOs in the
military."  (Argus Hamilton)

Jackpot Joint: A Beverly Hills liquor store owner earned more than $87,000
for selling one of the four winning lottery tickets from Saturday night's
big jackpot.  "The owner says he will use his winnings to help pay next
month's rent." (Werner S. Hass)

OJ's Back: OJ Simpson is appealing the $33.5- million judgments against him
in his civil trial.  "When reporters asked why it took him so long to
appeal, Simpson responded, 'I was busy chipping golf balls... No, I was in
the shower...No, I was packing my bags." (Paul Ecker)

Safe Keeping: President Clinton endorsed a Senate bill that would make it
harder for children to get their hands on guns. "The NRA opposed the
measure, saying parents could prevent gun accidents by keeping their
children in a locked cabinet when not in use." (Dennis Miller)

Truth is...: According to a survey done for Newsweek, 53% of Americans
believe news reporting is often inaccurate.  "Oops, wait a second. It was
actually 57% who said news reporting is often inaccurate." (Premiere Radio)

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