Fun_People Archive
24 Aug
The Comedian's-eye View of 08/24/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 24 Aug 98 12:59:49 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 08/24/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: Subject: 08/24/98 -- ShopTalk

                         Monday August 24, 1998

      "The news media could barely conceal its disappointment at having to
       leave the beach at Martha's Vineyard and actually do their job.

			- Craig Kilborn, on The Daily Show
			  in regards to the Monica/Afgan crisis


Bombs Away: "The U.S. has attacked terrorists camps in Sudan and
Afghanistan. President Clinton has left open the possibility that other
subversive areas could be hit.  Iraq, Tunisia, Libya, Ken Starr's office..."
(Alan Ray)

Boston Barnicle: "Boston Globe writer Mike Barnicle has resigned amid
reports he fabricated a column.  He has learned what making up stories will
get you.  He just got a job offer from CNN." (Ray)

Starr Witness: "President Clinton reportedly gave a DNA sample to the
special prosecutor.  Finally, Ken Starr has what he's wanted from the
beginning.  Blood." (Ray)

Starr Struck: "Monica Lewinski was called back for a second time to Ken
Starr's grand jury.  She'll say what she's been saying all along.  Being
the president girlfriend sucks." (Ray)

Pot Meets Kettle: Geraldo Rivera has said that Jerry Springer is the most
shameful man in America. "Geraldo lost the title when his show went off the
air." (Gary Easley)

Bitter Pill: Last week was the 38th anniversary of the sale of the first
birth control pills.  "And today is the 38th anniversary of the first guy
going, 'What do you mean you forgot?'" (Jay Leno)

Changing Places: The Newport Harbor Nautical Museaum will serve a duplicate
of the last meal on the Titanic.  "For a touch of realism, there will be no
dessert." (Stan Kaplan)

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