Fun_People Archive
14 Sep
Muppet Crotch Mania

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 14 Sep 98 12:23:26 -0700
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Muppet Crotch Mania

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: Jessica Perry Hekman <jphekman@arborius.net>

From: kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry)
Subject: Re: Muppet Crotch
Newsgroups: rec.arts.bodyart, alt.religion.kibology

In rec.arts.bodyart, amy (albasque@students.wisc.edu) wrote:
>
> Not a permanent mod, but in the same ballpark as dreads and shaved heads
> (mmmm, shaved heads...).  I just dyed my pubic hair purple!  A lovely
> shade of violet.  It's great!  :-D  I can't remember the last time I was
> so entranced by my own genitals!  Now I can take the pictures of my
> labia piercings for BME.
>
> amy
>
> P.S. How's that for a catchy subject title?

Frankly, I'm disappointed... the Subject: header is *so* entrancing that I
was saddened to see nothing about Kermit The Frog's head popping out of your
panties, or Gonzo flashing Statler & Waldorf, or Big Bird building a giant
bidet out of twigs and bark.

Or that kid who got sent home from gym class because he had Muppet Crotch.
And he kept showing up to class with a note saying "I NO LONGER HAVE MUPPET
CROTCH, SIGNED, MY DOCTOR" and being turned away in tears until finally he
bathed in that black tar shampoo for a full week (including sleep time.)

Or waking up to discover that your crotch keeps singing about the number "3".
And there's a hand inside it.

Or that your crotch has "googly eyes" and it wants to eat cookies.

So, Amy, I'd have to say that while I'm glad you found a cool way to express
yourself, and I enjoyed reading your post about it, no Usenet post could
possibly live up to the promise of that wonderful Subject: line.  It's like
if somebody said "Subject: Bob Hope Explodes" and then it turned out he just
died without exploding first:  something excellent ruined by comparison with
something perfect, like the words "Muppet Crotch".

"Muppet Crotch":  the "Where's The Beef?" of the new milennium!
I know I'll still be dropping it into conversations in 2999!

I LOVE "MUPPET CROTCH!"

			-- K.
			trying to think of a pun on "gentian violet"
			but "genital violet" isn't a tenth as catchy
			as "Muppet Crotch".


I APOLOGIZE IN ADVANCE FOR EVERYTHING ABOVE.  AMY, YOUR ARTICLE'S SUBJECT
LINE IS COOLER THAN I COULD EVER BE EVEN IF I WENT STREET LUGING ON THE MOON
WITH LEONARDO DiCAPRIO, JOAN OF ARC, AND PETER SELLERS.  I AM SO JEALOUS.

k

© 1998 Peter Langston