Fun_People Archive
25 Sep
NTK bits, 25/09/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 25 Sep 98 13:00:11 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: NTK bits, 25/09/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: NTK now, 25/09/98
		Danny O'Brien

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        "The computer industry is creatively bankrupt... with speed
        and performance being the only things and mattered. We knew
        the iMac was fast. We didn't need to make it ugly."
                                       - JONATHAN IVES, iMac Designer
                                     ...but then we thought, why not?

                                >> HARD NEWS <<
                                 win a cruise!

         Our spies at Privacy International (no secrets from us
         there) inform us that Simon Davies and the lads are planning
         a new set of awards, to be handed out in October.  These Big
         Brother awards will be given "to the government and private
         sector organisations that have done the most to invade
         personal privacy+in Britain." Launched 50 years after the
         writing of Orwell's 1984, and featuring a charming statuette
         of the iron boot stamping on a head, they are sure to be the
         envy of all your fellow surveillance co-conspiracists.
         Nominations are being accepted from members of the public,
         So if you've ever got a thrill from secretly informing to a
         quasi-autonomous body who - unbeknownst to their victims - is
         compiling a database of suspected "criminals" for a
         show-trial in abstentia...  Hold on, this isn't coming out
         right. There are also some "Winstons" for people who helped
         privacy. We're not sure what they look like... a
         ratcage, or something?
                               - oh, what the hell. Fun's fun, right?

                                >> ANTI-NEWS <<
                             berating the obvious

         "Football is the new rock and roll", uncover ZDNET UK,
         approximately a decade late... WIRED compared to Third Reich
         on Well... gets our block
         vote - as the shittiest site *ever*... handwriting of
         DOCTORS worse than controls, reveal BMJ... BRITISH
         ASTRONOMER helped find some more planets but they're not
         bloody M-Class, the idiot... "personal involvement in the
         leadership" expected at the Whitehouse intern initiative ... OFTEL punishes
         BT's use of Friend & Family to sell Click to ISP users - by
         admonishing them in a slightly raised voice... ELECTRONIC
         TELEGRAPH puts positive spin on killing "etcetera"
         section... we're sure that checked
         with their lawyers before putting "mercedes", "jaguar" and
         "daewoo" into those meta-tags...

                                >> TRACKING <<
                  making good use of the things that we find

         Like you, we got were thrilled when we found the super-slim
         1MB browser, OPERA. And, no, we can't remember when it made
         the transition from ultra-cool speed-monster to dull and
         ugly piece of Taskbar lint, either. It's not that it's
         changed - not for the worse, anyway, with the latest beta
         promising Java support, super W3C standard obeyance, and a
         multiplicity of fledgling ports (although only the BeOS boys
         appear to have escaped parallel fits of ennui). Maybe we
         just grew to loathe its previously endearing quirks - like
         that yucky Borland circa 1994 interface, or its impenetrable
         - and yet, oddly useless - configurability. All that's known
         is we uninstalled the last beta within five minutes. And we sleep
         in different beds now.
                - browser de jour, but they *never* mention it again...

         Linux users, hithertofore deprived of the marvellous beauty
         of Macromedia plug-ins, have developed compensatory
         abilities in their other senses: their sense of injustice,
         their sense that some Web designers should be strung up by
         their piercings, and so on. Now those powers could fade,
         with the first stirrings of a Oliver Debon's FLASH Netscape
         plugin FOR LINUX. It's not all there yet, but at least
         Flash-"enabled" sites (we prefer the term "differently
         platformed") are blurrily viewable (if not yet audible). And
         Linuxen have the chance to see for the first time exotic
         fonts appear, get big, then move left off the screen, while
         spinning around in a thrilling and startlingly original
         spiral manner.
              - if you run, you can still avoid the Shockwave "games"

                               >> SMALL PRINT <<

       Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
         happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
       on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
     nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
 It is registered at the Post Office as "a big smut jamboree on the internet"
                                 NEED TO KNOW
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              They worry about us, but we don't worry about them.
                          (K) 1998 Special Projects.
              Non-business copying is fine, but retain SMALL PRINT.

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