Fun_People Archive
1 Oct
The Comedian's-eye View of 09/30/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu,  1 Oct 98 12:07:01 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 09/30/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 09/30/98 -- ShopTalk

                      Wednesday September 30, 1998

     "Because of the Clinton stuff, the country is ignoring Al Gore
      altogether.  Earlier today -- this is very sad -- to get a little
      attention, Al Gore deliberately misspelled potato."
					- David Letterman


Coming of Age: The Postal Service says it will print yellow smiley- faces
to commemorate the 1970a.  "To add to the embarrassment for those of us who
lived in the '70s, the stamps will be cut in the shape of a leisure suit."
(Jerry Perisho)

"Gilligan!": Hurricane Georges wreaked havoc on Caribbean cruise liners.
Safety precautions were in place, but "just in case, each lifeboat came
equipped with a skipper, a professor, a movie star, a millionaire and his
wife." (Argus Hamilton)

Reach Out and Touch: Mail carriers in Omaha will be given cellular phones
to use for free in case of emergency.  "Hey, if they'd just let people on
their routes use the phones, we could eliminate mail altogether!" (Perisho)

A Star is Born: Astronomers using the Keck telescope in Hawaii have
discovered a quasar trillions of miles away- a giant ball of gas circling
the outer fringe. "They've named it the Ken Starr." (Hamilton)

Military Intelligence: The Pentagon has ordered 153 publications, including
Penthouse, Playgirl and Hustler, off military bases.  "It's part of the
Pentagon's new 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Don't even look' policy." (Premiere)

Talk of the Town: An ad agency in Florida is coming out with a new series
of TV commercials featuring a talking sandwich.  "Let's hope Taco Bell
doesn't try this with their Bean Burrito Supreme." (Steve Voldseth)

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