Fun_People Archive
5 Oct
The Comedian's-eye View of 10/05/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon,  5 Oct 98 15:29:57 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 10/05/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 10/05/98 -- ShopTalk

                         Monday October 5, 1998

  "When asked about his plans, (former Clinton press secretary Mike) McCurry
   said that after a much-needed rest, he'd like to go into something less
   stressful, like hostage negotiation or slandering the Koran."
					- Craig Kilborn, on The Daily Show


Finial Discoveries: It was 485 years ago this week that famed explorer Vasco
Nunez de Balboa discovered the Pacific Ocean after a grueling journey that
took 25 days.  "And you thought it took the 'Baywatch' lifeguards a long
time to get there." (Steve Voldseth)

Still Stories: Britain's National Health Service has banned its doctors from
prescribing Viagra until a method is devised to single out the most
deserving patients.  "Apparently, the British are guaranteed a stiff upper
lip and that's about it." (Bob Mills)

Buy it!: Various TV talk shows are reportedly offering big dollars for an
exclusive interview with Monica Lewinsky. Others say that's checkbook
journalism and they would never participate.  On ABC's "The View" Joy Behar
said anyone she would pay to interview is dead.  (Martin Luther King, Jr.,
Marilyn Monroe, etc)  Meredith Vierra admitted she'd pay for a talk with
"Deep Throat." Behar retorted:  "The real one or Monica Lewinsky?"

The Force: George Lucas has announced the name of his new "Star Wars" movie.
It's called "Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace."  "Among the titles
rejected: 'Oh Those Wacky Wookies,' 'Saving Private Skywalker' and, of
course, 'Thanks for Handing Over Your Cash.'" (Premiere)

A Side View: Two new congressional reports conclude there is fraud at the
Pentagon.  "Said a Pentagon spokesman, 'There are five sides to every
story.'" (Premiere)

Those Happy Skies: Passengers on international flights will now be required
to provide the name of a next of kin under the new aviation security
improvement act.  "Of course, those passengers who decide to skip the
in-flight meals are exempt." (Mills)

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