Fun_People Archive
8 Oct
The Comedian's-eye View of 10/08/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu,  8 Oct 98 18:37:31 -0700
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 10/08/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 10/08/98 -- ShopTalk

                         Thursday October 8, 1998

     "LARRY FLYNT: The wealthy pornographer offered Special Prosecutor
      Kenneth Starr a job at Hustler. He'd be in charge of whips and
			- Jim Mullen's Hot Sheet in Entertainment Weekly


Lay the Blame: Investigators working for congressional Republicans
recommended further charges against President Clinton for things Ken Starr
overlooked.  "Good thinking. Somebody ought to go to jail for killing Ron
Goldman and Nicole Simpson." (Argus Hamilton)

Smell a Rat: The Department of Health and Human Services is calling for a
huge cleanup of US cities, saying there are twice as many rats as people
living in Washington DC.  "That's because America sends all its garbage
there." (Hamilton)

The Next Stop: The medical journal Lancet reported research indicating that
diet pills destroy brain cells. "From now on Dan Quayle will be on
billboards across the country as Joe Fen-Phen." (Hamilton)

Liar, Liar: Yugoslavian President Slobodan Milosevic says he contacted the
White Hose last week to avoid war.  "Milosevic's claim was denied.
President Clinton gritted his teeth, wagged his finger and denied ever
having foreign relations with that man." (Hamilton)

A Crack Up: WCBS-TV in New York plans to broadcast its Nov. 8th NFL game
between the Buffalo Bills and the New York Jets in high definition TV.
"This is great news for the dozen or so crack dealers who can actually
afford HDTV sets." (Ira Lawson)

Top Honor: The animated movie "Antz" is the new No. 1 at the box office.
"The special effects wizards were able to do something that no one could
have imagined a few years ago: They put Woody Allen and Sylvester Stallone
in the same movie." (Premiere Radio)

Happy B-Day, Blockhead: Charlie Brown from the comic strip "Peanuts" turned
48.  "He's starting to age a little bit.  Remember that curlicue that used
to be on his forehead?  It's slipped down to the middle of his chest."
(Steve Voldseth)

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