NTK bits, 16/10/98
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 16 Oct 98 14:37:11 -0700
Subject: NTK bits, 16/10/98
Excerpted-from: NTK now, 16/10/98
Forwarded-by: Danny <email@example.com>
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>> HARD NEWS <<
it barely moves
Now, didn't we say all along that APPLE would make it? Steve Jobs
announced profits of $106 million on revenue of $1.6 billion (same
as last year - shhh! shhh!) and revealed that soon "You'll be able
to get a new Mac for $99". Sweetly, some Mac fans thought this was
*really true*, rather than the Jobsian way of suggesting that it
was time to splash out on yet another OS upgrade. We also enjoyed
Apple's mailing to the rhapsodic Macevangelists providing the exact
times of product placements in this week's TV and films, so that
the devout could set their VCRs. Everyone's happy. Except... why
did Jobs, apropos of nothing, insist at the press conference, that
"we still have our soul"? I mean, you don't think that deal with
Microsoft involved a third party?
- oh, smart thinking, Sherlock
- a Mac for 99p!
>> ANTI-NEWS <<
berating the obvious
Hayes go NO CARRIER... can't launch a major brand without breaking
EGGS - http://www.ntk.net/doh/egg981012.gif ... BBFA psychologists
refuse CARMAGEDDON II certification, after seeing a four-minute
demo... THRESH wipes out plucky British Quake champion Billox 56
to -1... US sex columnist Dan Savage gets "a disproportionate
amount of mail from MICROSOFT employees complaining about
impotence"... ZAP.COM pulls out of everything... E-TRADER caused
market crash by leaning on keyboard... DEMON director sets up mail
filters: accidentally broadcasts inbox to entire department...
THE SUN launches anti-FURBY campaign, citing "They're UKP7 to make,
but UKP30 in shops" (no economies of scale printing a newspaper,
then?) plus "they only supply 350,000 so you have to fight to get
one" (self-restricted profiteering! uh-oh!)
>> TRACKING <<
making good use of the things that we find
The new PERL JOURNAL has been out for three weeks now, splashing
its payload of Obfuscated Perl Contest entries about like a
Typhoid-infested floozy. As Europeans, we're cheered that French
and (quelle surprise) Finnish contestants grabbed three out of the
four awards, given annually for code that's unreadable even by
Perl's high standards. The US managed to hold on to first place in
the "Most Powerful Code" section, with Clifford Adams'
implementation of two encryption systems - including RSA - in just
five lines. Ironically, by clawing some scrap of dignity for the
United States, Clifford and TPJ now lay themselves open for
prosecution by same as outlaw crypto munitions-smugglers. Although
we'd be amused to see the prosecution try to prove that's what the
- print version protected by the 1st amendment
- oh, but now it's Lisp, beating Python by a head...
>> MEMEPOOL <<
hasta la altavista
creator of SKY DIGITAL banner ad is NTK subscriber: have you no
sense of decency?... not quite sure what market
http://www.syphilis.com/ is aiming at... LEXICAL FREENET is the
new sixdegrees... DR SHUFFLEBRAINS will see you now:
http://www.indiana.edu/~pietsch/home.html ... world's first
objective mirror site: http://www.justhow.co.uk/ ... no, fsck you!
- http://lwn.net/1998/1015/a/f-word.html ... Louis and Jane get
a cool 10 million dollars each... game over for your "Nick Hornby
with computers" book pitch: http://www.extralife.org/ ... new
ATARI 3D GAUNTLET - shit?
... how it should be - http://www.classicgaming.com/stella/
... "Linus does not scale"... stop press: the ECONOMIST
gets to the bottom of Art Bell's "disappearance" :
>> GEEK MEDIA <<
may contain strongly-typed language
RED BOOK AUDIO>> is it just us, or does the new U2 single sound
just like cult '80s Frankenstein tribute "China In Your Hand", by
T'PAU?... still no news of whether ACE OF BASS really are going to
sue T-SPOON for "Sex On The Beach" sounding too much like AOB's
1993 hit, "The Sign". And why doesn't the blonde one in Ace Of Bass
ever appear in interviews or videos or even properly in focus on
the cover of the new album? It's because *she's being hunted by a
stalker!*... our top compilation of the moment: CD number 2 stuck
to the front of clearly desperate, objectively disgusting Nestle
brekkie cereal GOLDEN GRAHAMS. (Very) varied Radio 1 Evening
Session-style highlights include the first RIALTO single, and
almost BRA-like novelty techno from THE EGG and upcoming
album-mongers FUZZ TOWNSEND - who, in both name and musicianship,
remind us of the theme from '70s kids Saturday morning TV show,
The Fun Factory... ORBITAL tell NME their new album will be most
"jolly" so far, promise single consisting entirely of samples of
Rolf Harris Stylophone... tribute band for PUFF DADDY pick
unfortunate, all-too predictable name of MUFF DADDY... which *is*
the best UK music news site? http://www.dotmusic.com , or that
"Dominator" guy who just lists all the current singles releases?...
and finally, farewell to AntiNews instigators THE SHAMEN, who
finally halt their shameless partying like its 1989 with their new,
final album UV due Monday 19/10/98. (Intentionally) hilarious
sign-off at http://www.nemeton.com warns shocked fans that no
material "will be given further terrestrial release", though the
band "will continue to collaborate, via their higher aspects, in
the 4th Dimension". The band blame mathematical differences...
>> SMALL PRINT <<
Need to Know is a useful and interesting UK digest of things that
happened last week or might happen next week. You can read it
on Friday afternoon or print it out then take it home if you have
nothing better to do. It is compiled by NTK from stuff they get sent.
It is registered at the Post Office as "more viewers than New Media Age"
(K) 1998 Special Projects. Non-business copying is fine,
but retain SMALL PRINT. Contact
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Tips, news and gossip to firstname.lastname@example.org.
© 1998 Peter Langston