Fun_People Archive
19 Oct
10/19/98 -- ShopTalk

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 19 Oct 98 12:36:47 -0700
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Subject: 10/19/98 -- ShopTalk

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 10/19/98 -- ShopTalk

                       Monday October 19, 1998

     "\/  NEWT GINGRICH: Reprimanded liar and accused adulterer
         wants to kick lying adulterer out of office."

			- Newsweek Magzine's 'Conventional Wisdom Watch'
			  Gives Downward Arrow Trend to The Newt  (Bill's
			  CW trend is also down this week)

Viagra Syndromes: According to the Wall Street Journal, sales of Viagra are
down in part, because of what they call the Disney effect:  Men don't like
"waiting an hour for a two minute ride."  Now, see, I thought the reason
men bought Viagra in the first place was because of the Disney effect:
"It's a small world after all.  It's a small world after all..." (Steve

Native Gamblers: "The big one here in California is the gambling in Indian
casinos.  More money has been spent on this measure than any other ballot
measure in state history.  I saw one of the opponents of this Indian thing
today on the news.  He said, 'If the Indians don't like the laws of this
country, they can just go back to where they came from." (Jay Leno)

Rocky VI: The Nevada Boxing Commission examined Mike Tyson's psychiatric
evaluation and pronounced him fit to fight in the ring.  "These guys were
easy.  Next, they cleared Ross Perot to run for president in 2000." (Argus

Bullish Behavior: Merrill Lynch stock brokerage announced it was forced to
lay off 3,400 office workers.  "It's not cause for panic.  Merrill Lynch is
still bullish on America, it's just thinning out the herd." (Hamilton)

Business as Usual: The William Morris agency is celebrating its 100th
anniversary this year.  William Morris became a vaudeville agent when he
signed on his first client.  "And today, 100 years later, that very same
client is still waiting for him to return his phone calls." (Ira Lawson)

War of the Roses: Despite reports to the contrary, Tom Arnold and Roseanne
will not be reunited on her talk show.  "So, go ahead and get your cable
reconnected." (Jerry Perisho)

In True Voice: Michael Bolton had to cancel a South African tour due to
throat problems.  "Bolton first noticed a problem during the last leg of
his tour when his voice began sounding clear and unstrained." (Premiere)

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