Fun_People Archive
5 Nov
The Comedian's-eye View of 11/05/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu,  5 Nov 98 13:46:03 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 11/05/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 11/05/98 -- ShopTalk

                       Thursday November 5, 1998

"The South Carolina Senate race was nasty enough to gag a buzzard."

Closeness of several southern races was ... "Making Democrats and
Republicans in these states as nervous as pigs in a packing plant."

"The North Carolina Senate race is tighter than last year's bathing suit."

	- Dan 'Ratherisms' during CBS News' coverage of Election '98
	  as quoted in Electronic Media's Daily Fax

DNA testing has proven what many historians have long thought: Thomas
Jefferson fathered at least one child with Sally Hemmings, his slave. At
the time, Jefferson had waggged his finger and said no to the question "art
thou bedding thy slave?" but later indicated "that depends on what the
meaning of the word art." (Jim Rosenberg)

DNA experts announced they have proven once and for all that Thomas
Jefferson fathered at least one child by his slave housekeeper.  What is it
about women being on their knees all day that American presidents find so
attractive?  (Steve Voldseth)

In the second day of a labor-management clash, ABC Inc. Tuesday locked out
2,200 radio and TV employees after their union failed to meet company
demands to give advance notice of strikes. The lockout is expected to hit
"20/20" the hardest, since it affects the man who oils and adjusts Sam
Donaldson's hair. (Rosenberg)

ABC and technical workers are at odds.  Among week-long job actions, the
union plans to picket the sites of all the network's hit shows.  However,
they don't know what they'll do the other six days. (Alan Ray)

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