Fun_People Archive
10 Nov
The Comedian's-eye View of 11/10/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 10 Nov 98 12:09:28 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 11/10/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 11/10/98 -- ShopTalk

                      Tuesday November 10, 1998

      "Texan, 'George W. Bush, describes himself as a 'compassionate'
       conservative, which in Texas means he asks you how you like your
       Jello just before he flips the switch."

				- Craig Kilborn, on The Daily Show


"The Republicans had a disappointing showing in the election. It's a clear
sign that Americans want them to wrap up their investigation into Thomas
Jefferson's affair with his slave." (Zack Taylor - Westwood One Radio

Minnesota governor-elect, Jesse "The Body" Ventura has changed his name to
Jesse "The Mind" Ventura.   I guess he didn't want to be confused with that
other elected official, Newt "Used to be Somebody" Gingrich. (Steve

Newt Gingrich resigns from Speaker of the House immediately, and the House
in January....Ken Starr's investigation of the president finally got the
guy to resign. IT WAS JUST THE WRONG GUY! (Bill Williams)

"Following the resignation of Newt Gingrich, Democrats are now referring to
our nation's capital as 'Pleasantville.'" (Cybersatirist Bob Hirschfeld)

Newt Gingrich is leaving Congress.  Much like fellow Georgian Jimmy Carter,
he will work for the Republican version of Habitat for Humanity.
Accommodations for the Affluent. (Alan Ray)

Philadelphia gets to host the 2000 GOP convention....The GOP had only one
demand: change "City of Brotherly Love," to "City of Brotherly Love, But
Not That Kind of Love! Not That There's Anything Wrong With It Though."

The Fox Network is airing a show called "When Good Pets Go Bad."  "In fact,
the next night they have another special called 'When Fox Executives Run
Out of Ideas.'" (Jay Leno)

Catholic activists are furious over this week's Ally McBeal episode that
has a joke about nuns having sex....In fact, the Catholic League has come
up with a joke of their own: "How many Ally McBeals does it take to screw
in a light bulb? Ninety Seven. One to screw it in, and 96 to form a shadow
when it's on." (Williams)

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