Fun_People Archive
10 Dec
The Comedian's-eye View of 12/10/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 10 Dec 98 11:51:13 -0800
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 12/10/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 12/10/98 -- ShopTalk

                      Thursday December 10, 1998

   "I was at a spa in Sonoma County, getting a massage, because sometimes
    that helps my insomnia, and I fell asleep. In my dream, I told the
    masseuse that I had to go to the bath- room and I'd be right back.  She
    asked me, 'Do you want me to leave the light on?' And I said, 'No.  You
    can leave the lights off. Because being in the dark equalizes us all.'"

				-- Singer Mariah Carey


"The demand for Furbies has gotten so out of hand that over the weekend,
one frenzied shopper in Texas picked up what she thought was one of the
critters and had it gift wrapped before realizing she had mistakenly grabbed
Ross Perot." (Ira Lawson)

Despite a November unemployment rate of 4.4%, many large companies are
laying off workers, obviously believing that "it's the season when it's
better to give than receive.  Especially when you're giving out pink slips."
(Premiere Radio)

Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt has opened a sex boutique on Sunset
Boulevard.  "It carries lingerie and features a full coffee bar.  A Hustler
coffee bar kind of gives new meaning to that term 'bottomless cup of
coffee.'" (Leno)

There's a new proposal in L.A. to fine people who don't show up for jury
duty.  They'd fine you $1500.  "It's probably the only city in the world
where they're harder on the jurors than they are on the criminals." (Leno)

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