Fun_People Archive
11 Dec
The Comedian's-eye View of 12/11/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 98 13:42:05 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 12/11/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 12/11/98 -- ShopTalk

                       Friday December 11, 1998

     "I've come to terms with the fact that I am good in bed."
                             -- Singer Alanis Morissette


The TV movie, "Houdini" aired on Sunday.  If you missed it, it featured some
of the most incredible tricks ever performed in the history of television.
Not counting, of course, the current TV season and NBC's amazing: "Sawing
a TV Audience in Half." (Voldseth)

Two Cincinnati teenagers have been found alive and well after spending a
week locked in an unheated train car with no food or water, sustaining
themselves only on stale beer.  But the really good news, Amtrak has just
hired them as engineers. (Voldseth)

The U.S. Center for Disease Control now says that the average life
expectancy in America is now (at an all-time high of) 76.5 years.  The bad
news, when statistically corrected for Bob Hope, Dick Clark and Strom
Thurmond, it drops to 49.7. (Voldseth)

Speaking of Strom Thurmond, he turned 96 last weekend.  At his party, he
said he's seen a lot of changes during his 44 years in Congress.  Yeah...
and he voted "no" on every one of them. (Voldseth)

The Heisman trophy will be handed out on Saturday.  Regardless of who wins,
no one will ever over-shadow the award's most notable recipient.  Fred
Goldman. (Alan Ray)

Republicans have drawn up 4 articles of impeachment.  It was the most
difficult thing they've ever had to do in Washington.  Legislation is
usually written for them by the tobacco industry. (Ray)

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