Fun_People Archive
13 Dec
The Comedian's-eye View of12/14/98

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 13 Dec 98 20:06:43 -0800
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Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of12/14/98

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 12/14/98 -- ShopTalk
                       Monday December 14, 1998

	"Thoughts are very powerful."
		--The deep thinking singer, Jewel


Judiciary Committee: "In what can only be called, "not shocking at all,"
Republicans drafted four articles of impeachment, including one count of
"inappropriate something" and three counts of flagrant "nothing really."
(Craig Kilborn)

Experts Can't Be Wrong: "Producers of the upcoming animated feature "The
Prince of Egypt" say that after screening the film for 700 religious
scholars, not one of the scholars found anything offensive.  Well, there's
one movie that won't be breaking any box office records." (Steve Voldseth)

Great Idea? "Have you seen this Christmas catalogue gift item called "Ale
in a Pail?"  It's eight bottles of beer and it comes in a small metal
bucket.  Is this a good idea-- a small metal bucket?  After eight beers,
most guys can't hit a large porcelain toilet." (Voldseth)

New Bond Film: "Denise Richards will play a nuclear weapons expert named
Dr. Christmas Jones, but soon double crosses him after revealing her true
identity as Dr. Squeezy McBosom." (Kilborn)

Bond "Girls:" ""Former Bond Girls Jill St. John, Ursulla Andress, Britt
Ekland and Barbara Carrera gathered recently to discuss their careers and
why that guy at table five is such a lousy tipper." (Kilborn)

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