ONION ALERT! - Home for the Holidays - ONION ALERT!
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 98 22:44:05 -0800
Subject: ONION ALERT! - Home for the Holidays - ONION ALERT!
Forwarded-by: Keith Sullivan <KSullivan@worldnet.att.net>
[Here's a news item from the Onion <http://www.theonion.com/>.
NOTE: THIS IS FROM THE ONION! -psl]
CRETINOUS REPROBATE HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS
MONTPELIER, VT -- Mark Wilens, a 41-year-old cretinous reprobate who
relocated to California six years ago, is back home in Vermont for the
holidays, it was reported Monday. "The pudding is on the table, the fire
is roaring, and Mark is here with his family," said Lila Wilens, mother of
the unctuous, deceitful shit. "Hopefully, we'll get a chance to go caroling
while he's home, on one of the days when he's not hanging out by the
Catholic school with his binoculars." The filthy pig last spent Christmas
with his loved ones in 1995.
(c) Copyright 1998 Onion, Inc., All rights reserved.
The Onion <http://www.theonion.com/>
© 1998 Peter Langston