The Comedian's-eye View of 1/21/99
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 21 Jan 99 10:44:22 -0800
Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 1/21/99
Excerpted-from: 01/21/99 -- ShopTalk
Thursday January 21, 1999
One third of the children today are born into homes without families.
- Dan Quayle
That's one thing Bill Clinton and I do have in common: we overmarried.
- Dan Quayle complimenting his wife
President Clinton was exonerated by a DNA test proving he didn't father a
teenage boy in Arkansas. "He's been called many names over the years but
exonerated isn't one of them." (Argus Hamilton)
Elizabeth Dole says she's praying to figure out whether to run for
president. "After hearing this, Bob Dole said, "I hope she's praying to a
different God than the guy who told me to run.'" (Conan O'Brien)
The National Security Agency banned Furbys from its buildings because of
the risk the dolls could record what's said in the office. "Does it make
you feel safe knowing the people in charge of our security like playing with
dolls?" (Daily Scoop)
Linda Tripp was named one of the worst-dressed women of 1998. "Apparently
she was singled out because her shoes never matched her recording device."
NBC's newly appointed Entertainment President Scott Sassa says he wants to
see sex portrayed in NBC programs with more words between "Hello" and "Will
you sleep with me."
... I think the words are Chevrolet, Coca Cola, Toyota, and Budweiser.
... He's calling it "Must Plea TV," I think...
... Don't we already have a TV network putting more words between "Hello"
and "Will you sleep with me?" I think it's called CSPAN.
© 1999 Peter Langston