Fun_People Archive
7 Feb
Out of the Mouths of Babes

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun,  7 Feb 99 13:36:34 -0800
To: Fun_People
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Subject: Out of the Mouths of Babes

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: Bob Stein <squeeze@voicenet.com>
Forwarded-by: Daniel Beerbohm <peartree@earthlink.net

A father was reading Bible stories to his young son. He read, "The man named
Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his wife
looked back and was turned to salt."  His son asked, "What happened to the
flea?"

A four-year-old girl was learning to say the Lord's Prayer. She was reciting
it all by herself without help from her mother.  She said, "And lead us not
into temptation, but deliver us some e-mail.  AMEN"

A three year old was proud to have put his shoes on by himself.  His mother
noticed the left was on the right foot.  She said, "Son, your shoes are on
the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't
kid me, Mom, I KNOW they're my feet."

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting
away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread
them all over the table.  "What are you doing?" his mother asked.  "The box
says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained.  "I'm
looking for the seal."

Can people predict the future with cards?  My mother can.  Really? Yes, she
takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my
father gets home.

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has
to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers."  A little voice from the back
of the room asked, "How will that help?"

© 1999 Peter Langston