Fun_People Archive
3 Mar
The Comedian's-eye View of 03/03/99

Content-Type: text/plain
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed,  3 Mar 99 10:03:23 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: The Comedian's-eye View of 03/03/99

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Excerpted-from: 03/03/99 -- ShopTalk

                       Wednesday March 3, 1999

 "I'm certainly going to think about it.  (But) when I do decide that I'm
done, it will be because I feel I have done what I needed to do, not because
of any one person ever."
				- Oprah Winfrey on "Roseanne" about a recent
				  interview with a British paper in which
				  she said she would quit her show because
				  Jerry Springer had ruined daytime.


ABC is charging advertisers $800,000 for a 30-second spot on Barbara
Walter's upcoming "20/20" interview with Monica Lewinsky.  Which, if I'm
not mistaken, is the most anyone's ever paid for a 30-second spot-- not
counting the $45 million Ken Starr paid for the one on Monica Lewinsky's
dress. (Steve Voldseth)

Ford's new sports utility vehicle, the Excursion, is 19-feet- long, has a
V-10 engine and weighs 3 1/2 tons.  In fact, it's so big... instead of
cupholders, it comes with two crew members and a beverage cart.... no matter
what your destination is, you have to pass through Atlanta. (Voldseth)

The Essential David Letterman: Top ways Y2K will affect Disney World:
9. Screwed up computer report EuroDisney turning a profit.
5. When you wish upon a star...not a damn thing happens.
4. Unexpected power surge brings an angry Walt Disney back to life.
3. "Main Street Electrical Parade" becomes "Main Street Two Gush With
   Plastic Flashlights parade."
2. Ticket machine accidentally dispenses day passes for less than $600.
1. Two words: catapulting teacups.

prev [=] prev © 1999 Peter Langston []