Fun_People Archive
11 Mar
Dog Haiku

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 11 Mar 99 23:47:39 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Dog Haiku

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: Glenn Hughes <philglen@STMARYTX.EDU>
Forwarded-by: John McFarland <>

	Dog Haiku

    I love my master;
    Thus I perfume myself with
    This long-rotten squirrel.

    I lie belly-up
    In the sunshine, happier than
    You ever will be

    Today I sniffed
    Many dog behinds-I celebrate
    By kissing your face.

    I sound the alarm!
    Paper boy-come to kill us all-
    Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

    I sound the alarm!
    Garbage man-come to kill us all-
    Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!

    I lift my leg and
    Whiz on each bush . Hello, Spot-
    Sniff this and weep

    How do I love thee?
    The ways are numberless as
    My hairs on the rug.

    My human is home!
    I am so ecstatic I have
    Made a puddle

    I Hate my choke chain-
    Look, world, they strangle me! Ack
    Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!

    Sleeping here, my chin
    On your foot -no greater bliss-well,
    Maybe catching rats

    Look in my eyes and
    Deny it. No human could
    Love you as much I do

    The cat is not all
    Bad-she fills the litter box
    With Tootsie Rolls

    Dig under fence-why?
    Because it's there. Because it's
    There. Because it's there.

    I am your best friend,
    Now, always, and especially
    When you are eating.

    My owners' mood is
    Romantic-I lie near their
    Feet. I fart a big one.

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